I hate this statement when it comes to my kids. People who know my kids are adopted from foster care have a tendency to say this. I have also been told that I have rescued my kids and what a saint I am. I admit to having said these same statements to other adoptive parents with large families.

We didn’t decide to adopt from foster care for the attention or to have people praise us. We wanted children, plain and simple. Biological children were not in our future, so this is the choice that we made.

I feel anything like a saint, hero or savior. After a fairly nice time of having Sammy home for the weekend, and taking him bowling with my niece yesterday, reality slapped me in the face last night.

It was a little bit after 10:00 PM and I was walking upstairs to go to bed. I heard a clicking noise coming from Sammy’s room, and I knew in the pit of my stomach what it was. I, stupidly, asked him about the noise and he told me he was flicking the wall behind him. I knew he was lying and began to search his room. I found three lighters, a pocket knife stolen from my husband and a pile of cigarette butts.

As I watched my son’s face and the fact that he had no remorse and was angry with me for making these discoveries, I did not feel like a hero, a saint or a savior.

Last night I faced the reality, again, that my house could be burned down at any point while Sammy is home. Lighters and matches have been an issue for him ever since he joined our home. I felt violated once again that my son had gone through our bedroom and stolen things from us.

This morning I am letting him sleep as late as possible so that I can avoid the drama that will follow, and biding my time until I return him to his foster home today. I don’t feel the least bit guilty about it, and in certain ways, I am looking forward to not having the drama and being on guard.

So am I hero? No. I am a tired, stressed out, frustrated and sometimes helpless feeling mom. The fact that I am parenting children who came from foster care is only slightly material. If my children think I’m a hero, I’m a step ahead.

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