A couple of weeks ago the sermon at our church service was on yokes and support and while I listened to my pastor talk, I couldn’t help but think about all the foster and adoptive parents that I know.

I know this isn’t the Christian blog, but bear with me a minute and it will all make sense. The passage the our pastor was talking about came from Matthew 11:28-30.

28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Well gee, I know many foster and adoptive parents who are “weary and burdened” and could certainly use a rest.

The part about the yoke can be a little tough to figure out. I was a farmer’s granddaughter, and even dated a farmer for a couple of years, but oxen were never involved, so the story the pastor told made the yoke part a little bit more understandable. Many of us who know what a yoke is think of the wooden bar or brace that goes across someone’s back so they can carry heavy items. There is another type of yoke that is used with oxen. It is custom fit and on one side is an older oxen and the other side is the younger one. The older one carries the majority of the burden or weight until the younger one grows enough to be able to carry half the load.

This is not far from what we go through in foster care and adoption. There are the “been there, done that” parents who have lots of experience with various issues, and others who are just starting. Both sets of parents need support but the more experienced parents can carry much of the load by offering expertise and simply listening to the other parents. They can offer a hug when the “newer” parents need it, or simple words of support.

The upcoming issue of ATN’s newsletter, Hoofbeats, talks about support. Why? Because we need it so badly. We are dealing with difficult children with issues that “normal” parents cannot even begin to imagine. Can you talk to your friends about your child kicking holes in your walls, hoarding food, being sexually abused, or the various other issues you deal with on a daily basis, or do you feel that you have to censor what you say because they don’t understand?

Offering support to each other is so small, but so needed. If you are interested in receiving the ATN newsletter, you can find membership information on the ATN website.



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