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So, to continue the previous discussion 
about the downside of foster adoption…
I got some comments on the last post, and wanted to share part of one with you:
……Our youngest son was born meth addicted, and our middle daughter has more emotional and attachment issues than I know what to do with. When I try to take her to therapy or talk to other non-foster parents about her issues, they do not understand. No one knows how to help her, so doctors just medicate her and want to talk about her first family over and over again. It is not helping! Emotionally, she has torn our family apart with her manipulations and lies. If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t do it……
Getting support from other fost adopt parents – outside of your agency or DHS – is one important step if you are adopting from foster care, and sometimes foster adopt families sort of hide out, and isolate themselves. Not on purpose, but just because they are busy.
The issues that fost-adopt children face may be the same as other types of adoption, but they may also be unique to the foster system – especially if the child is older.
When a child enters foster care and is available for adoption, they may have already had several families and have been moved from place to place.
Can you belive, some foster families are even encouraged NOT to attach to thir foster children as they won’t be staying. The parents are told to hold off incorporating a child into their family until there is a permanancy plan.
It is heartbreaking, but I actually know of a couple of families who treat their foster children a bit like guests, rather than family. – This is how the parents can avoid burn out. Better for the parents? Maybe – but not for the kids.
Luckily, our county is a bit more progressive, and tries to place a child once – and not move them unless necessary. If the child comes back into care, they always try to re-place with the same foster family.
So, if you live in one of those counties that moves children, you’ll have a child that doesn’t trust the system, any of the past or future caregivers and may have attachment issues or other developmental delays.
To be continued…..
