Comments on: Why are you angry?

By: NCOZADD@aol.com

NCOZADD@aol.com — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 15:33:00 +0000

The squeaky wheel gets the grease Kelly..... we must continue to spread the word and advocate for our families. We can name any number of issues that were not considered accepted or acceptable by society, some not so long ago. But eventually, the pendulum swung around. It will with AD also. As the cliche goes.... knowledge is power.

Nancy Thomas made an appearance on Focus on The Family, on their radio program, not too long ago. Getting our faces and voices out there has made a difference, and will continue to do so as those voices grow in number and volume.

Foster Cline had a really neat idea, that he shared in conversation at the ATN conference.... much has been written about AD, and more is being done in that arena, but what about getting our stories taped?

By: Kelly

Kelly — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 14:28:08 +0000

Now the question is…. How do we get the people in “power” to see things our way?

By: NCOZADD@aol.com

NCOZADD@aol.com — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 04:27:21 +0000

"If my husband treated me the way my son has treated me, I’d have people telling me to get out of my house, get a restraining order, and get a divorce. Because Sammy is my child, I should excuse and forgive his behavior. That makes me angry."

I used this analogy SO many times when trying to explain my son to others. But unless he displayed his behaviours to these people, it was hard to help them "get it" because my RADish could be so utterly charming.

Reading this blog almost gave me whiplash, because I spent so much of the time nodding my head in agreement. This is a very powerful post, and should be shared outside of this forum. VERY well stated Kelly!

By: dubbamom

dubbamom — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 01:14:04 +0000

I’m right there with you Kelly. I think every AT (who isn’t or hasn’t lived this) needs to do 6 months of Respite, for their clients, during their first year of practice. Just so they don’t forget, I think they need to do, 3 weeks of Respite per year, for their most needy clients, during the next 4 years of practice. I wish this was requirement for them to keep their license. HA!

By: BEACHLADY

BEACHLADY — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 00:54:22 +0000

Great post.
I felt your emotions in every word!!

By: Cindy Bodie

Cindy Bodie — Sun, 30 Sep 2007 21:53:59 +0000

Very well said!

By: Julia Fuller

Julia Fuller — Sun, 30 Sep 2007 17:53:37 +0000

Thanks for speaking out for us Kelly, I’m feeling the same way lately. Julia

By: Chromesthesia

Chromesthesia — Sun, 30 Sep 2007 17:07:40 +0000

"I think all workers who are going to deal with traumatized children should have to live as a foster parent for at least six months before they enter their field."

Why don't they do it like that? That makes perfect sense to me. I'm angry and I'm not even in the system yet. I'm mad that children aren't a high enough priority in this country that folks can't FIX THE SYSTEM or that they harp on issues that are not as important as providing each child that needs a home with a safe, loving family that has the resources they need to take care of a child that has been through a war zone.
It doesn't make sense. I want to adopt from the system one day, but reading stories about it is making me a bit scared (and makes me realize I would not be ready to do that for a decade or so.)

By: lmg1567

lmg1567 — Sun, 30 Sep 2007 16:11:34 +0000

Your post needs to be sent to every worker in this country!! I have used the same analogy about “if my husband were abusing me this way…” and it’s so true!! We can have compassion for our children who do these things, but we still want to fix it or it’s just going to destroy us too in the process. Every once in awhile I start thinking about redecorating some part of my house destroyed by one of my adopted kids and it immediately brings back all of the dismay, anger and bitterness I felt after I worked so hard to create a beautiful, loving, nurturing environment for my kids just to have them pick everything to death. Using your anger to advocate for change is the best case scenario. At least you’re doing something. I don’t think any of these workers would last a week with our kids at their prime. They are so naieve and offer the most simplistic advice – as if we are just a bunch of complainers. I wonder what they really learn in their training?

By: realmom

realmom — Sun, 30 Sep 2007 14:05:59 +0000

I had a bumper sticker that said-
“If you are not angry then you are not paying attention.”
Amen to that, the system is infuriating.
-Rachel in PA