There are times when every parent doesn’t like their child. Like and love are different emotions, and right now I don’t like Sammy. I love him, but I don’t want him anywhere near me.

This weekend was a mixed bag of emotions. Hannah was baptized yesterday. It was a beautiful ceremony and she was very excited to be baptized. Both of our pastors adore her, and she adores them. There was one point where Pastor Jim was holding her and kind of “bopped” her on the nose. She in turn rubbed his head, which made the whole congregation laughed.

Hannah received several sweet gifts, and was very appropriate, expressing joy and gratitude for them. She liked being the center of attention, and handled it well. Some kids have a hard time with the attention and will sabotage things. She is doing well enough that she took it for the special day that it was.

Sammy was the one who sabotaged things. He was NOT the center of attention, which is always difficult. He started the morning in an ugly mood, and he rode a roller coaster of being pleasant and being ugly all day long. He used the party as an opportunity to steal cigarettes, steal and destroy my stereo, steal his dad’s speaker, and steal a car stereo. He cursed us out on a regular basis, and even laughed and called my husband stupid when he failed to find the stolen cigarettes and lighter during a “pat down”. I discovered them hidden in his underwear a few minutes later.

After being on this emotional roller coaster with him all day, I was (and still am) exhausted. I am angry at him for using his sister’s wonderful day to strike out at my husband and me. I am angry at his refusal to comply with even the most basic family rules. I am angry that I am now waiting for the police to arrive to file yet another complaint against my son. I was happy to see my child leave my home, and return to his foster home. I am happy that the chaos is over for now.

Unfortunately, I have had these feelings many times over the years with Sammy. I have always loved him, but there are many times when I just don’t like him. At first I felt guilty for these feelings. Now I have come to accept them as part of parenting a child who is emotionally disturbed.

For information/instructions on how to subscribe FREE to your favorite AdoptionBlogs, please visit this link.

Photo credit – Hannah’s baptism cake, which she loved.