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My schedule took a drastic turn today. Hannah started pre-school this morning.
This was a very difficult decision for me, since we are working hard on attachment as well. Several things went into this decision.
• Hannah is attaching well. That is not to say she is 100% attached, but she is doing well. If she were not, there is no way I would send her.
• Hannah is a little TOO attached in some ways. She is in what is referred to as “anxious attachment”, meaning she doesn’t do well being away from me. If I am in the bathroom, she is standing outside the door waiting for me. As soon as the door opens, she is right there with me. She doesn’t even like to be a different room than I am.
• Hannah wants to learn. She is a very bright child, and wants to learn to read. I could “homeschool” her and teach her myself, but I won’t set myself up for that battle. Theresa wrote some great blogs about this issue. I will leave the teaching to the teachers.
• We have a great school system. They have had both of my boys, and are fully aware of the issues with the kids I take in. In fact, they have referred other foster and adoptive parents to me for support and resources. I know that Hannah will not be able to manipulate teachers there.
• Our family dynamics. Hannah’s last adoptive home was a larger family, with her being the youngest of 6 kids. Our home is quite different. With Sammy being in out of home care, Hannah is usually the only child here. Great for attachment, but hard on her adjustment; it is almost too quiet here. Pre-school allows her interaction with other child for short amounts of time.
The decision on whether or not to send a child to school is a very personal one. In some cases you don’t have a choice. Some foster care agencies will tell you that a school aged child MUST be in school. You have to follow your agency regulations or risk violating, and possibly losing, your license.
If you are a single parent who has to work, you don’t have much choice, unless you can afford a private instructor.
If things turn south, I will not hesitate to pull Hannah from school. Her integration in our family is more important than her education at this point in her life.
