You may be wondering how much of your child’s information to disclose to teachers.

If you are still in the pre-adoptive phase, you may be bound by confidentiality agreements and will want to check with your social worker to see what can be disclosed.

In many cases, you may want to put the teacher on a “need to know” basis.

Is the information relevant to the teacher being able to teach your child? Telling the teacher that your child has been sexually abused would be appropriate if that child is sexually reactive and has the potential to touch or hurt another child.

Are there restrictions on who can see the child? If you feel that a member of the birth family may try to see your child at the school despite a no contact order (yes, this can happen) you will need to disclose this information to the school.

Does anyone from social services need to see your child at school? If your worker plans to sit in on any IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meetings, may need to visit your child at school, or would like to receive copies of your child’s progress reports, disciplinary reports or other information, you will need to let the school know about this.

Will having some background information mean a different teacher selection? Some teachers have more training in special needs children, different learning disabilities, or do well with kids with different behaviors. Having the right teacher could be crucial for your child.

You may also do better to discuss some of these issues with the principal, school counselor or school psychologist, rather than directly with the teacher. When Sammy first joined our family, we had a very long visit with the school psychologist, who has become one of the best advocates for our family.

Sammy’s behaviors were very erratic, and there were large chunks of his kindergarten year that he had been missing from school. We weren’t sure how he was going to adjust to school, so we felt that meeting with the psychologist was the most appropriate. He would be the one working with our son if issues came up, so we gave him the background information. That may not be something that you are comfortable with, but it is always an option.

We are blessed to be in a very small school district. There are usually less than 100 kids in a graduating class. Because of the size of our school and classes, most of the teachers know me and know the types of the kids that I work with. They automatically assume that any child that enters the school under my guardianship has a trauma and/or abuse background. It saves me a lot of time because they know the best teachers for my kids, they know there is probably an IEP involved, or could be in the near future, and know that I am available any time an issue arises.

We also use our experience to help educate the school and the teachers. Because Sammy’s issues were so apparent, it didn’t take long for regular communication to happen between us and the school. We now talk to teachers and other parents about attachment issues, foster care and adoption, and special needs education. We discuss new techniques and research that we learn about. It has been a win/win situation or all of us.

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