To quote the great philosopher, Tom Petty:

“The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part.”

You have all this time to fill and nothing to do with it, but there are plenty of things you can do to help you become more prepared for the child or children that will enter your home.

Talk with other adoptive parents

Find out what issues they deal with, what parenting methods they use, what works and doesn’t work. Offer to do respite for them, or to be a mentor for their child. If you tell the families that you are going through the adoption process, they are usually more than willing to share their experiences with you.

Get online

There are great resources available that will allow you to research, and talk to other parents who are still waiting, or have been matched with a child. This can give you a realistic idea of what to expect once your child “comes home”, or even during the visiting process. You will have other people who understand your frustration, excitement, and worries.

On adoption.com you will find many areas to give you information.

There is the foster care and adoption section. You can talk to parents who are doing foster care without the intention of adoption, parents who are waiting to be matched and parents who have been matched, and are going through the visitation process or waiting to finalize their adoption.

On the special needs section, you will find parents who have a child that has been identified as special needs. Here you will have a chance to talk to parents who are living with a child day in and day out, and will speak to you very honestly about the types of challenges that may lie ahead of you.

Pre-Adoption lists

Both adoption.com and Attachment & Trauma Network have lists where pre-adoptive parents can chat with each other, and share joys, frustrations, and information.

E-Newsletters

Adoption Week

This is a well written e-newsletter that covers all aspects of adoption. From the latest in legislation, to search and reunion, as well as poetry, waiting families, waiting children, and a calendar of adoption events. It is not based solely on adoption from foster care, but it is loaded with useful information.

NRC for Family-Centered Practice and Permanency Planning

Written by the Hunter College School of Social Work This newsletter discusses issues in adoption, but focuses on foster care and special needs children as well.

Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute Newsletter

This is a monthly newsletter, written about adoption legislation and research.

About.com Parenting Special Needs Guide

This is more of a beginner’s newsletter. It includes explanations of different disorders, terminology, and practical advice on dealing with day to day issues. It is not specific to adoption, but more to parents of special needs children.

All of these resources will help you be as prepared as possible when the time comes.



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