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I started back to counseling yesterday. The recent events with Sammy have triggered some major PTSD issues with me, and I need to deal with them in order to be a good mom or wife, much less friend or person.
One of the questions she asked me was “What do you do for fun?” I rattled off a list of things that I’m involved in expecting that to answer her question. She then asked me another question “What do you do outside of your house or church?”
I had to think about that for a while and I came up with the answer “I don’t know.”
The point she was trying to get across was that everything I am involved in is nurturing to or caring for other people. She then asked me who nurtured me or cared for me. Another long pause and another “I don’t know.” I have great friends on the internet and a few locally, but very few that live the life I live and that fully understand what my life is like.
I have friends here that are supportive as much as they can be, and I love them for that, but the question is one that all of us need to pay attention to.
What do we do for fun or for ourselves? Who nurtures us or takes care of us? Do we have an identity outside of parent or caregiver? It’s become obvious now that I don’t and I suspect many of you reading this are the same way. Being a foster parent or a parent of a special needs child is time consuming and can be very draining.
I’d like to hear what you do for fun or what your thoughts are on this. Here are some of the things I do, but again, they’re all done for someone else so I have to re-evaluate these things.
Knitting – I am a passionate knitter and I love to spend hours looking at yarn. Here’s the nurturing part though. I knit for our shawl ministry at church. Virtually everything that I make is given to a person in need.
Yoga and exercise – With my 40th birthday approaching in six month, I have made a commitment to getting healthy. However, with my schedule I do all of my exercising in my home. If you are a physically active person, this can be a way to get out and meet other people.
Bible study – I am involved in many activities in my church. I have just joined a group called Covenant Disciples. http://www.gbod.org/smallgroup/ As a group we write a covenant of things that we want to do to grow in faith and become better people. We then meet weekly to discuss how well we held our “deal” with God to keep this covenant. I am also working on putting together a brand new group to be involved in reading and writing Christian fiction or plays and poems that can be used in worship services.
Cake and cookie baking and decorating – I love to bake, which is in part responsible for my rotund figure. To combat this, I give away most everything I bake. I make birthday cakes for friends, cookies and treats for Hannah’s class. This is a passion I inherited from my great-grandmother. She baked all kinds of special treats for us.
What things do you do for fun? Did my list inspire a new passion for you? Any ideas of something you can do to nurture yourself? It’s funny how one simple question can spawn such a slew of thoughts.
Hmm, I guess I read. Not always in an organized way either — sometime I just pick up whatever’s around, such as free magazines at the library. But when I take the time to hunt down a specific book or author that I’ve enjoyed in the pas,t or I take the time to hunt down a new book or author that’s been recommended, that makes me feel loved by myself. I work a little bit for myself — as much as I’d do for a good friend who expressed an interest in a certain topic or author — and it shows me that I care. Sounds silly, I know. — Rachel