Who would have thought pouring concrete would lead to blog material?

It’s a happy day at our house. The concrete people are here doing the base for our new garage. We are putting in a new driveway and garage in an attempt to make our house more appealing to buyers. We have had a shared driveway and garage with my dad for 10 years. It works for us, however other buyers are not so willing to sign onto this. The sole reason we are selling our house is that my mother lives two houses away from us. If you read this blog, you know why that’s an issue.

So, how does this relate to foster care and adoption? We have been working on this since May. First we had to talk to the neighbors since we have an unusual property line near where the new driveway is. Then we had to get financing from the bank, then we had to get a permit for the driveway, which also meant getting a new address for the house since the new driveway is in a new grid. Then we had to get permits from the county and the township for the garage.

Suffice it to say, this was not a smooth process. This morning it reminded me of the licensing and home study process for foster care and adoption.

Fill out paperwork, then wait for someone to get back to you. Fill out more paperwork, then wait for a different person to get back to you. Meet with the social worker, and wait for them to get back to you. Find a child online and contact your worker, wait for your worker or the child’s worker to get back to you. Make several phone calls in between when you feel like you have been forgotten, and you may have been.

I should be used to the waiting, the frustration and the follow up phone calls. I have done this a few times, and still do it on a fairly regular basis while trying to get services for my kids or to help another parent.

It’s still frustrating though, and I have less at stake than foster and adoptive parents. I’m trying to sell my house. You’re waiting for a child. Which one is more important?

I haven’t been able to do much while waiting for my permits, but there are things you can do to prepare yourself for your new child while you are waiting.

Read – There are hundreds of wonderful books available about traumatized children, foster
care, or books to read to your children once they are placed.

Find a support group – Both ATN and Adoption.com have support lists for pre-adoptive parents. It will be very helpful to you to talk to other parents who are in the same situation.

Do respite – Providing respite for a family can be a good way to “get your feet wet” and find out what issues you might be facing with a child of your own. Talk to your worker about families who need a respite provider. Trust me, they will know plenty.

Relax – Yes, this is easier said than done, but you need to be relaxed now because you won’t have time once your new child comes.

Photo credit – my new garage floor going in.