K and I, and another fost-adopt mom all went to the Heart Gallery at Focus on the Family yesterday.

Last February I went to the same exhibit, with different photos, and blogged about how the children’s photos moved me.

I went as far as to write down the ID and phone numbers of several of the children and called on one on the teenage girls. I called mostly because I was curious, but I did not have a real interest in adopting her.

I was so taken aback by the response of the phone call, I never blogged about how our conversation went.

The caseworker was very nice; the photo had been taken months ago. He explained that the little girl wanted to find a forever family, but he had other thoughts surfacing recently.

The girl had been in many foster placements over the last ten years, but she was settled down in her newest placement. She had only been there a little while, but he had a good feeling about this family, and was hoping it would work out for the girl.

In fact, he told me the child was doing so well in her current foster care placement he did not really want her to get adopted and moved again.

I was a bit confused then, but now, after researching and writing this blog for ten months, I understand a bit better how the caseworker could hold back an adoption – and why the foster family might not adopt the girl.

Foster families cannot always adopt the children that come into their homes. Reasons are often financial; Children in foster care have access to a great deal of resources that are not always available after adoption. Bio-children might object, the child might need an out of home placement at some point during the teenage years – personal reasons – adoption is not always the answer.

It pains me to say it, - that some children are better off in foster care rather than adopted, but I understand some of the complexities now, that I did not when I made that call a few months ago.

The caseworker explained more of the details to me.

To be continued……