If you been following my updates on Rick, (links below to previous entries), the first foster adopt child we hoped to keep, you’ll know that I’ve kept in touch with the family, three years after Rick went home to Mom.

It has been an up and down struggle for them. Mostly because Mom plays victim to everyone and everything around her. She takes NO responsibility for her life. Whenever she has troubles, she calls and tells me who has done what TO her, and although I try to support, send her to services, and encourage her to get counseling, she disappears out of site, only to call again next time she is in trouble.

I heard from her today. Her last roommate viciously beat her. She says she can’t press charges since she is wanted on on a third time driving without a license charge. She goes to court next week. There is a possibility that she'll go to jail since it is her third charge. She needs bail money. I've asked her to call before court. Or at least leave Rick with me when she goes. All I can do it wait to see if she does.

She has been evicted, (again!), due to the domestic violence in her last home. Mom and Rick are staying on the couch of a friend.

Domestic Violence is a horrid cycle of abuse. Mom was terribly abused as a child and doesn't know how to get out, hasn't had enough counseling yet that she can see a different way.

I wish the courts would order about five years of weekly therapy to give her an outlet to process her choices and help her find a new way. Wouldn't that be cheaper for us in the long run than the jail - foster parent - running from the law choices? In terms of her child, it would be a much cheaper emotional, ethical choice for society.

I want to help. Really I do. In past years I’ve given her many suggestions. (as well as food, money, resources, rides places) I’ve asked her to voluntarily put her child into foster care so I can take him, or go to a shelter where they can set her up with services, or call the domestic violence center and ask them for help.

Hubby and I had given her a car so she could run from the last violent guy. She had the money at that time. She was supposed to get insurance and her license. I knew that she was in court ordered therapy weekly. The guy ended up with the car and wrecked it after she went back to him.

I’ve called social services several times and asked them to check on her. They refuse to re-open the case. They must think I’m an over zealot foster mom.

Today I gave them a hot lunch, $60.00 and a lecture. She only calls when all her other ‘resources’ don’t pan out. I don’t feel used, but I do feel a bit helpless.

Rick is five now. He'll have to go to school next year. I'm glad about that. I hope he has some fun and structure at school.

I worry about Rick. I don’t know what to do. The sad part is, I know there are many children out there just like him, and the parents just don't get it.

(part 1, part II, part III, part IV, Part V, Part VI )