Trauma and every day things

My blog is late today because I spent a good portion of the day in the car, and at doctors appointments.

Sammy got the molds made for the braces he’s going to be getting, and Hannah had to go in for a strep throat test.

Hannah had the classic symptoms of fever, swollen glands and hurting when she swallows. So, off to the doctor it was.

None of these things should be traumatic, should they? However, with our kids nothing is as simple as it should be.

Hannah was sexually abused orally by a biological relative. She is able to clearly convey what happened to her in words that she can use. She says that the bad man put his sword down her throat. Some people say she can’t possibly remember this because she was so young when it happened (she was 2 years old) but she certainly does remember.

Knowing this, I am dreading the time when they have to do the strep swab. I explained to her what was going to happen, and told her she might gag. She took in the information, and I waited for questions, but none came. The nurse came in and also explained what was going to happen. She showed her the swab before she used it. Hannah did not gag, complain or cry, but the look on her face and in her eyes during the swab said that there was some kind of flashback. Fortunately, the nurse was female.

While Hannah did not show obvious signs of trauma, aside from her facial expression, they are there. She does not want to leave my side. Since she is not feeling well, she is napping in my lap. Normally when she does, I am able to move her to the couch and get up if I need to. Today, if I move she is immediately awake. She is also asking for a bottle.

Seemingly normal, every day events take on a different role when presented to a traumatized child. I can’t give you a checklist of how to handle things because each child handles things differently. If this were Sammy, he’d be raging, cursing, and kicking walls.

There is no way to prevent these every day things. How we handle things afterward is what matters.

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