A fantastic report by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute is bringing awareness to some of the issues involved in transracial adoption and the need for parent education.

My friend, Elaine, has a very multi-cultural family and I love how this family works together and does not see the “differences” in each other. They are simply family.

I’m all for transracial adoption, don’t get me wrong. I’d much rather have an interracial family than to have a child sit in foster care in limbo waiting for a family that “matches.” For most of us, skin color or culture is not what makes a family or relationship.

However, race and community do need to be a consideration. It was certainly a consideration with our first placement. The community we live in is highly Caucasian. We were unsure of how an interracial family would be received in the community, so race was an issue for us in taking a placement. We did not feel it would be fair to a child to come into an area where he would be ostracized immediately.

This is part of what the Donaldson report focuses on. As much as we can love a child, we cannot understand what it is like to be subjected to racism and hatred. If you are a transracial family, you can feel the looks from curious, and sometimes angry people, but what about when a child is at school and racial slurs are directed at your child? We would be naive to think that these things will not happen. There is hatred everywhere and how we handle that with our children is key.

The Donaldson report talks about being “color conscious” in placements, and I fully agree. That was our concern with our first placement. We wanted to be conscious of how a child would feeling coming into a community where other children did not look like him. The report encourages racial education for parents considering, or taking placement of a child of a different race.

One of the best tips I ever heard was from a friend of mine of a different race when we were discussion interracial families. She suggested going to the local college or community college and finding a “buddy” or mentor for the child that he could discuss racial issues with. That’s not to say the child wouldn’t discuss these issues with the parents, but to have the mentor as an additional resource who understands racism and hatred in a way that the parents cannot.

If an interracial placement is going to take place, resources and tips like these need to be made available to the new parents, so they can potentially have things in place before issues arise, or at least know where to turn when issues do arise, and they will.

This is a long, but very informative report. Make sure to set aside some time to read this, especially if you’re considering a transracial placement.



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