Since my last post touch a little bit on trans racial adoption, I thought it only fitting that we devote an entire blog to this subject.

There are many books available. The Adoption Shop has a few titles, but can’t begin to scratch the surface of what’s available. Amazon.com reveals another 93 titles but I know that’s still just a fraction.

The fact is, it’s hard to understand another culture or race if you’re not a part of it. About like expecting “normal” parents to understand what it’s like to do foster care of special needs adoption. It’s just not happening.

With foster care adoption, you can adopt from a variety of cultures. There is African American, Hispanic, Native American (although that can be tricky) and sometimes Asian. Each culture has its own little niche, histories, and traditions. These are a part of your child and they need to understand them, even if they chose not to make them part of their life.

So, how do you get information?

Of course you can read books to gain information, and in some cases, you will have to. I have been told that doing African American hair is its own art. I’ve never dealt with that, so I don’t know. Mackenzie is bi-racial, but had very soft ringlet curls. Doing her hair was not a problem.

Attend festivals. Milwaukee becomes a cultural arena during the summer. On the lakefront, there is a festival just about every weekend. There is Arab Fest, Mexican Fiesta, Indian Summer, African Fest, Irish Fest, Polish Fest, and just about anything else you can imagine. It is a great way to sample food, music and clothing of the culture.

Find a mentor. One friend suggested a big brother or sister type of friendship with a student at a local community college. Having your child spend time with someone who practices the culture on a regular basis can give them a safe place to talk and ask questions that you might not be able to answer.

Explore all different types of cultures. Some children may feel singled out by having attention focused on them. I have one friend who is bi-racial herself, and has a very integrated family of different cultures. They have family time learning about all different cultures. They have learned about China, Greece, Thailand, and many other places, even though her children are not from there. It takes the focus off the child, but allows them to learn what they are willing to absorb about their own culture. You can experiment with food from a different country one night during the week, or listen to music from different countries while in the car. It puts the focus on the culture and learning, and less on the child, which may make things more comfortable.

If someone is traveling to the region that your child is from, ask them to pick up some local things that they feel your child would like. Taking a trip to the region with your child would be ideal, but some kids can’t handle it, and not all of us have enough money to do that either.

Whatever you choose to do, acknowledge that there may be parts of your child that you will be unable to understand or connect with, but sometimes making the attempt means enough. Some children do not want to acknowledge the "other part" of them because they feel separate from other family members. Be sensitive to these feelings, and open the dialogue with your child

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