Then, out of the blue, on June 2, 2009, we were blessed with a very promising placement. We now have a little boy in our care who is 3.5 years old, is beautiful, and it looks like we may actually be able to adopt him as early as next spring.

All I can tell you is that we were just as frustrated as you sound until we got the call on this little guy this June.

First, my husband and I struggled with the decision to adopt for quite a while. We began the paper work process with a local county SS dept. in 2005. We were really having a difficult time coming to terms with my infertility and the reality that we would no longer be able to have another biological child. (We were blessed with one bio son in 2001 who is now and then could never get pregnant again, despite numerous surgeries, medication regimes, etc. We knew we could continue to go further in our attempts to conceive (and still could) with IVF, etc., but didn’t feel comfortable taking that step.

Then, when we were finally ready to “take the leap” into adoption and got certified, we had to wait for what seemed like forever in between calls of potential placements. We were asking for a boy or girl under the age of 4. At first, we were only looking at caucasian children. Then, after waiting for 7 months after our first failed placement opportunity, we broadened our profile to include hispanic children.

We were very uncertain when the case worker called to tell us that she had a potential placement for us and that he was a 3.5 year old hispanic boy.

In reality, I was really dreaming of a little caucasian girl with blonde hair and blue eyes — like the rest of our family. However, two out of our three failed placement opportunities were blonde haired, blue eyed little boys. We just knew that they were not the right fit for our family. I began to be very afraid that I wouldn’t be able to adopt — that I was not capable of loving a child that was not biologically my own. I even started to think that having one biological child had “ruined” my ability to adopt and that I wouldn’t be able to love an adopted child the same as our son. We almost took our names off the list.

When the case worker called early this June, she said that she knew we had just recently broadened our profile to include hispanic children, and said she was just going to bring this possibility to our attention and “throw it out there” to see what we thought. I would never have dreamed that the “right fit” for our family would be this little hispanic boy — but it is!!

Everyone at social services and in our trainings told me that when the “right” child came along — we would know it without a doubt. I was very skeptical about their comments, and thought “they definitely don’t know me”. However, they were right.

I don’t know if my husband is quite ready to move forward yet, but I already have a plan in my head and heart to broaden our family to include a couple of little girls as well, but now I know that it is OK to say “no” to a placement opportunity, and that the right child/children is out there for us and is out there for you too.

Try to stick with it and have faith that your little one is out there. He/she may not even have been born yet, but that little one has your name on him/her and is just waiting to be united with his forever parents. If you ever need to chat –please let me know!!

Read more about our very large family…
http://web.me.com/drusher/FindingLove

He is best described as a “developmental neuropsychologist,” specializing in the treatment of “institutional autism” (which he also calls “post-traumatic autism,” or “post-institutional autistic syndrome”).

Dr. Federici is licensed by the Virginia Board, and is the holder of a Psy. D. degree.

Dr. Ronald Federici is the author of “Help for the Hopeless Child: A Guide for Families, With Special Discussion for Assessing and Treating the Post-Institutionalized Child” and is the founder of Neuropsychological and Family Practice Associates, in McLean, Virginia.

He has worked with adopted children from Russia, Romania, Ukraine and Belarus. He is also the father to seven adopted children of his own.

Federici is also an outspoken opponent of dangerous practices, such as those resulting in the death of Candace Newmaker. In addition, he has also sought to provide as much assistance as possible to children living in orphanages and other institutions with deplorable conditions.

More information about Dr. Federici and his work can be found at:

http://ronaldfederici.wordpress.com (Ronald Federici blog)

http://ronfederici.wordpress.com (Ron Federici blog)

http://childrenintherapy.wordpress.com (Children in Therapy)

http://advocatesforchildrenintherapy.wordpress.com (Advocates for Children in Therapy)

http://angelinajolieadoptions.wordpress.com (Angelina Jolie’s adoptions; Dr. Federici is Angelina Jolie’s adoption consultant)