Top Ten things to do to get ready for your new foster - adopt child:

(Not in any particular order)



1. Clear your schedule. Have a lot of free time to devote to your new child - regardless of the age of the child. Take a least one week if possible to share time and activities. If you have a baby, take the time to rock and hold the baby. This initial intimate time together will help set up all future bonding.

2. Have a variety of foods available. Lots of kids from foster care have food issues. Although I don't agree with being a short order cook, have a variety of food on the table and available for snacks to help your new family member feel less anxious about food. Allow them to choose what to eat from your available foods. I've found most kids will eventually balance their diet out with a mixture of foods, although it may be a small assortment to start. Let them keep a snack drawer for themselves so they know they have food available anytime they want it.

3. Give them a safe quiet place to act out, throw a tantrum, be alone. This could be a small play area, or on the floor of their room. But this should be a place they can go and feel totally safe to cry or think.

4. Don't make your children sleep in their bed. Allow them to sleep on the floor next to their bed if they choose. Many foster children have been abused in their bed, or pulled from their beds in the middle of the night and for these kids, the bed is not a safe place. Don't force it. If they sleep on the floor, and can get some good nights rest, let it go!

5. Find out what your child's favorite activities are, and schedule them into your family. This will let your child know you care about them as a person and their interests.

6. Remember the child will miss everything that is familiar to them, even if it was negative attention. I always ask the children if they miss Mom (or Dad or school or wherever they came from). Even if they are too young to talk, I know they feel comforted when you acknowledge where they came from.

7. Allow older children to talk about their experiences as they are ready.

8. Be very respective of bath time. Some children have suffered abuse in the bathtub - Scalding water, Ice cold water and other abuse too terrible to mention. If children are overly compliant or obviously scared, take bath time slowly. Allow them to sponge bath or take very shallow baths or shower. Give them lots of personal space as safety allows.

9. Assign chores from the first day. Age appropriate chores help the child feel part of the family. It gives them a chance to contribute and build self worth. Almost any age child can sweep with a small broom and dustpan.

10. Have a few new items for them. Toiletries, a clean shirt. A toy or notebook. This may be the first new items they can call their own.

These are just a few ideas we have found work for us.

I'll be blogging more about a few of these specific issues in the future. If you have one you'd like me to write about soon, let me know! You can email me, (fost-adoptblog@adoptionmail.com) or comment below. Thanks. (It only takes a minute to register if you haven't already).