Foster Adoption Blog

07/19/06

More on forced Visitations after Adoption

Posted by : Michelle Vandepas in Foster Adoption Blog at 07:12 am , 381 words, 370 views  
Categories: Issues in Foster-Adopt Care, Nature vs Nurture
Ok, we can all breathe a sigh of relief.

The high court in New Jersey will not be interfering in your life after you adopt. Well, at least they will not be forcing sibling visitation after adoption.

The New Jersey Supreme Court declined yesterday to decide whether siblings who are separated by adoption have a constitutional right to visit each other regardless of their parents' wishes.


However, this same court conceded yesterday that siblings do have a right to visit each other when separated by foster care:

The high court urged lawmakers to examine the "competing public policy concerns" and consider revising existing law, which gives siblings a right to visit each other while they are in foster care but not once they are adopted.


And then, listen to the voice of reason by a spokesman for the Attorney General

Our position in this case was essentially that adoptive parents are no different than any other parents. They should decide what is best for their children," Lee Moore, a spokesman for Attorney General Zulima Farber, said.

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Of course, there is always another side to the argument::

Sibling relationships are irreplaceable," Katz said. "Maintaining those relationships shouldn't depend upon a voluntary agreement. It absolutely needs to be part of a court order." Five states empower judges to order sibling visitation over the objections of adoptive parents.


You know, the adoptive parents I have contact with always try to do what is best for their children. If contact with siblings would be adding to their lives and enriching it, they would do it. I don't know many parents who deliberately want to keep siblings seperated out of spite.

But I love that New Jersey wants the parents to decide what is best.

that adoptive parents are no different than any other parents.... Humm, I 'm not sure I completely agree, adoptive parents have a lot more to worry about and issues to learn about than some other parents. Foster adopt parents have already have visitation issues, abuse, neglect etc. I know that in terms of love and caring and wanting to do the best, they are not any different.

Full story here

Other blog ramblings and links on this subject here (Just scroll down to find specific articles)

What's your take on this?

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: jabby [Member] Email
Michelle,
I'm sorry it took so long to sort out a response to this one. I have very mixed feelings about this. While I worry about forced visitation in situations where one (or more) sibling is abusive to the other(s), I think the kids should have some assurance of the permanacy of their sibling relationships, even if they are not living together.
As always, this is colored by my experience. My oldest boy has two bio brothers that we know of. Each child was removed from birthmom at birth. We have some contact with the youngest brother, but the adoptive family of the oldest brother has not been open to any contact because . . . "they don't know each other anyway" and "he doesn't need more siblings". They have our contact information, hopefully they will get in touch if they reconsider this.
A friend has a son with siblings still in foster care. Last year they were moved to a new placement and she was not notified until she called to talk to them a week later.
It would be great if the adults involved would voluntarily protect the sibling relationship in cases where it is safe to do so. Unfortunately, that doesn't always happen. I'm not sure there is one perfect solution to this. I would hope that needing a court order to maintain contact would be the exception. Anyway, that's my two cents.
Julie
PermalinkPermalink 07/21/06 @ 09:20
Comment from: Michelle Vandepas [Member] Email · http://fost-adopt.adoptionblogs.com/
I hear you Julie, It just isn't a cut and dried answer ever. It just HAS to be a situation by situation decision and the parents have to be making good decisions -...You just have to respect a mom who doesn't want contact - for whatever reason, It is HER family now.... I wouldn't want the court mandating visits for me.. But I hope I'd also do what is right for the children..

I appreciate you taking time to give such a thoughtful response. Thanks Michelle
PermalinkPermalink 07/23/06 @ 19:49
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