I put 300 miles on my car today. Sammy had a much needed dentist appointment, with the answer I thought I’d hear. Braces are needed.



My morning started with rising at 6:00 AM. UGH! We hit the road at 7:15, to pick Sammy up at 8:30. Then we drove back the direction we just came, plus another 30 minutes north, to get him to his dentist appointment by 10:00 AM. Are you following all this? After the regular check up, and squeezing in a filling, we grabbed lunch, made a quick stop at home for something I forgot, and then back on the road. Another one hour and 15 minutes back to the RTC and we dropped him off at 2:00 PM. I could have headed home at this point, but Sammy’s RTC is only 15 minutes from my beautiful 13 year old niece’s house. She lives with her mom, and I don’t get to see her very often.

Hannah and I killed some time looking at Easter dresses, and waiting for my niece to get home from school. She is a beautiful young woman with an incredible heart. She had a band competition over the weekend and took 1st in four different competitions, and one second. Her report card was all A’s, except for one B. Can you tell I am incredibly proud of her? It was also her first time meeting Hannah.

During all these hours in the car, I got to listen to Sammy and Hannah interact. It fills my heart to hear these two children, both victims of abuse and neglect, be healthy together. Neither one of them remembers that they have “disabilities” when they are together. In some respects they are very similar, and in others they are completely different. It’s amazing what just a few different elements can make in a child.

Both Sammy and Hannah were removed from their birth homes around the age of 2. Both of them were physically and sexually abused, as well as neglected. Here is where the major difference comes in. Hannah went to an adoptive home that loved her (and still loves her) with her bio siblings. Sammy bounced through foster care, and several relative placements, and he was apart from his siblings. His placement right before us was with a bio brother and he wanted to stay there so that he could stay with his brother. It was not a good placement for him, and I don’t think the boys would have done well together, but tell that to a 5 year old who has been burned many times.

How this difference manifests itself is major. Hannah is much more willing to trust. Sammy protects his heart with steel barriers. Sammy has the decided disadvantage of having pre-natal drug and alcohol exposure, which creates its own set of issues.

I marvel daily at things that Sammy does that Hannah doesn’t do, and vice versa. Since Hannah has only been here about two and a half months, and Sammy has been with us almost 8 years, it’s easier to anticipate what Sammy is going to do.

When these two kids are together, they laugh, they play and act like brother and sister. They exchange hugs, kisses and “I love yous” and they mean them. They act like two emotionally healthy children. It is easier for them to trust each other than adults. They truly miss each other while they are apart. They ask for each other, and when Sammy phones home, he always asks to talk to Hannah and tells her he loves her before hanging up.

Maybe they will help each other heal, but I can’t count on that. In the meantime, I’ll sit back and enjoy the giggles, and jokes, and all the things that are “normal”, while they last.