We have been through a myriad of workers in the past several months trying to get Sammy the services that he (and we) need. This presents a problem. We are continually bringing new workers “up to speed.”

I’ve done my battles with different social workers. I have been accused of causing Sammy’s behaviors, my parenting techniques have been questioned repeatedly, and so on.

We had yet another incident of this happening yesterday. I questioned the wrap around worker as to why we are making this discharge plan for Sammy when he is obviously not ready to come home.

The e-mail I received in return put me into fight mode:

Kelly, the purpose of the discharge date is to plan for the future. Will he come home at that time? I don't know. I think there is a lot of work to be done by both Sammy and you and your husband. As for other alternative placements, Sammy would be wherever is most appropriate for him.

I got the impression at the meeting that you really don't want Sammy home again?
I also got the impression that this is all of Sammy's problem and he needs to fix this?
Could you let me know if I read that correctly, please.

You also know that RAD kids need to be raised and handled differently, what types of things do you and Larry do to parent him differently? I'd like to know also if RAD therapy has been done with the family, thanks.

I asked for input from friends on the tone of this e-mail. I was very offended and the people that read it felt the same way I did.

So, now I start educating another worker as to all the methods our family has tried, all the therapies we have been part of, the parenting classes we have taken, our experience and education on attachment disorder and various other special needs, and so on. I am half tempted to send him my Curriculum Vitae to save myself the trouble.

This is one of the biggest problems with the revolving door of workers, and it is likely during your time doing foster care or adoption you will go through different workers. Unfortunately, the retention rate is not good, and depending upon the services you need or the issues your child has, you may get passed off to another worker who has more “experience” in certain areas.

Sammy has been listed as an “adjudicated delinquent” for about two years now, and we are on our fourth worker, just for our county. That does not include the workers for the residential treatment centers, foster care organizations, wrap around services and other programs.

You will no doubt become frustrated by the revolving door, especially if this happens during the matching process. You will spend time stating the same information over and over again, and you will be angry about it.

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