I have been a respite provider for a few years now. I have had an interesting variety of children come through my home, and for the most part, I have enjoyed doing this. There is only one time that I have returned a child, and that was purely because I sensed potential harm to Hannah.

On the plus side of being a respite provider, you get meet some very wonderful families and some really interesting kids. Some kids have made changes after leaving, and others have remained stuck in their negative patterns, but all have impacted me in some way.

If I hadn’t been a respite provider, I might not have Hannah. We did respite with her three times before she officially joined our family. I knew her family from the ATN support lists and happily agreed when they asked me to take her. I knew what they were dealing with and had no hesitations.

A plus for some people is that they can make good money as a respite provider. I have never charged a lot for doing respite because most of the families I have dealt with have been very financially strapped. In most cases I tell the parents to pay what they can afford, and if they can’t, that’s usually OK. Other providers charge around $100 a day. I know that there is no way that I could have ever afforded that when I needed respite, so I don’t have a set amount. However, if you are considering being a respite provider you may want to have a set amount. It is a very personal decision.

Now for the downside. Many people who need respite for their child need it on a moment’s notice. I have received requests where parents wanted to drop their child off within an hour. This is not always conducive to my schedule, so I have had to turn parents down. Some parents are able to plan ahead, say if the family is going on a trip and they know their child will not be able to handle the trip, or will work to sabotage it for the rest of the family.

If you have other children in your home, the children you take in for respite must be carefully considered. I learned this after a very bad experience with the only child I ever voluntarily returned before the arranged time. Hannah was scared of this child and she was creating absolute chaos in our home. Other children have influenced Hannah in some rather negative ways which resulted in her taking on their negative behaviors. Hannah is emotionally healthy, but falls to peer pressure very easily. It is for this reason that we made the decision that after the summer we will no longer be doing respite.

If you are doing “therapeutic respite,” which means that you are trying to help the child make behavioral changes, it can become exhausting. If you’re not already doing therapeutic parenting in your home, it can be physically and emotionally exhausting. If you are doing this day in and day out already, it may not be a big deal to you.

You also must be careful not to get emotionally involved with the families you are working with. I made this mistake with Hannah. I was so emotionally invested in her success, because I liked her family so much, that I needed a get away after the last time she left our home. You may never hear from a respite family again, so getting too emotionally involved can ending up hurting you.

Whether or not you decide to do respite is a very personal decision and not one to be taken lightly. There are very difficult kids out there who can sense any hesitancy or uncertainty on your part and they will exploit it. Think through your decision carefully and even talk to other respite providers and any therapists that you are working with.



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