I’ve been waiting for a letter from my daughter’s birth mom but it hasn’t come. After she sent me the initial letter many weeks ago, asking me what I wanted from our open adoption, I replied, and now have been waiting for her to reply to mine.

She asked that we not discuss this over the phone. I’m sure she needs to have my thoughts down on paper, and I presume that writing it helps her think through her own feelings as well.

Maybe she is busy – after all she has a newborn, or maybe she is still thinking about what I said, and she doesn’t know how to respond, or maybe she is just waiting until our next visit to talk and open up the communication verbally. I don’t know.

There have been many times in the past when I’ve waited on her to contact me. Sometimes I’ll just wonder where she went and give her a call, and most of the time she’s just lost track of the days and has been living her own life, not ready to call me. I like to give her the time she needs, but I also don’t want her to feel that she shouldn’t call, or isn’t’ welcome. The truth is I have a lot of love for my daughter’s birth mom. I want her to do well be able to parent her second child.

So, only time will tell how this will play out. I’ll keep in touch for the sake of my daughter, but I’ll try not to have expectations on our relationship. Maybe we’ll keep in touch, maybe we won’t, but I’m very grateful I know who she is and a bit about her history. I can tell K that I knew her birth mom and that we hung out together for the first few years of her life. I’m glad about that.