We are at the point of the home study that drives most families crazy – waiting.

We started the process back in March. We did our initial interview, filled out the application, signed all the consent forms for our records to be given to the agency, and all the other paperwork that needs to be done.

Hannah has had her health check done, mine has been completed, and I have submitted my autobiography. My husband has a few things to finish yet.

The big hold up has to do with Sammy. If you have an adolescent child in your home who has been involved with law enforcement, the agency will have to obtain records from the social services department that has or is monitoring your child. This does not mean it will prevent you from adopting, just that social services will want to be sure that your new child will be safe in your home.

So what is the agency looking for in the records?

• Has the child harmed another child?
• Has the child harmed the parents?
• Are the child’s issues related to parental negligence or abuse?
• Are the child’s issues resolved or ongoing?
• Have the parents abided by any court orders?
• Have the parents ever been charged with abuse and/or neglect?
• Are there any stipulations in the child’s treatment plan that would prevent the addition of another child into the home?

The agency that we are using knows about our abuse investigation so what they read will not come as any big surprise. We have also been up front about Sammy’s issues, his current placement, as well as previous placements. We felt it was better to be up front rather than the agency receiving a surprise and have it look like we were trying to hide something.

For us the waiting is not upsetting because our child is already with us. However, I fully remember what it’s like to wait for all of the paperwork and records to come back. It is frustrating. When I spoke with Sammy’s worker today to inquire about the status of the records, he gave an answer that is not surprising. He has the request for the records but each time he goes to work on it, something else more important comes up. This is not uncommon for social workers, and partially the way we, as foster parents, live our lives. You deal with the crisis of the moment. At some point the crisis this worker was dealing with may very well have been my own son. I know he has been to two monthly meetings about Sammy since we filled out the paperwork. I can’t fault him for this. I have stacks of papers on my desk that are handled the same way.

However, for most waiting parents, this waiting time is maddening. It is frustrating when it seems like everyone and everything you need is at a standstill. As hard as it is to wait, understand the worker is not doing it on purpose, and use the waiting time to enjoy the serenity you have while it lasts. It may be a while before you have it again.



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