Today I have been cleaning because the adoption worker is coming out tomorrow. Now I have been through enough of these to know that the worker is not coming to do a white glove inspection, but my house looks like the inside has been hit by a tornado. We haven’t been home much in the past week, and when I was I was doing something that made a mess, like baking and decorating cakes.

The worker is not coming in to check for dust bunnies, or if all the laundry is folded and hung up properly, but rather to do things like safety checks. Are chemicals out of the reach of small children? Do you have outlet covers in place if you have infants? Do you have adequate room for the child to sleep and store clothing? If you have pets, are they safe around children?

There can also be an inspection of the exterior of the house. Is the house in good condition? Does the child have room to play outside? Is the neighborhood safe for the child? If you live in an apartment or a multi-family home, what are the neighbors like and what is the upkeep of the building like?

My yard is a wreck. Anyone who has survived a Wisconsin winter knows that you wind up with debris of various kinds in your hard and the grass and driveway may have been damaged due to snow plows. We also have some large branches that came down during various snow storms. None of these are safety hazards to Hannah so if they don’t get cleaned up I’m not going to worry about it. In fact, it’s highly likely that it won’t get done.

The other purpose of the visit to “interview” my husband and me. The interviews feel very personal if you haven’t been through them before, and in a lot of respects, they are quite personal.

There are questions about your marriage, divorces if there have been any, your job, your finances (who likes to discuss that with a stranger), your religious beliefs and practices, and possibly even your sex life and your psychiatric health.

You will fill out fewer papers to buy a house and your will discuss things with your worker that you may not discuss with your best friend, but these are necessary to properly gauge the “type” of child that will work best in your home. If this isn’t done you may wind up with a bad match that will emotionally, and possibly physically, hurt both you and the child.

Our case is slightly different because we already know who our child is going to be and the worker has never met her. Hannah will be going to school late tomorrow so that she can meet the worker and give her opinion of the placement. This part is typical after a child has been placed in your home, but unusual before the home study has been completed.

I know many parents who are going through the process for the first time are very nervous. I still remember being that first time parent and worrying about my house being perfect. One mom told me she even cleaned her oven in case the worker looked in there. Don’t worry, you don’t have to do that much. Just be yourself and present the real you. That’s what your child is going to see.

Photo credit - No, it's not my sink.