So, I’ve been thinking about siblings a bit, and when, if ever, I want to start the process of adopting again. I thought I’d be starting it right now. I even wrote about it here.

But, now, that NOW has come, and I find I’m just not ready - yet. K is just too easy and life is pretty fun. Adding another child to the mix gives me pause.

Still, another child.... humm...What if?

This is where my mind goes:

What if....They just don’t get along. That is such a pain in a household. I want them to at least be civial most of the time - maybe even play sometimes!

What if....My next child turns out to have difficult special needs?

What if....The child doesn’t sleep (or we get a baby), so I don’t sleep and then I’m cranky and life in our home is no fun if I’m cranky.

What if....I’m just no good at parenting two children?

What if....

Then of course there is the whole stress of adopting through foster care. Do I want to bring in legal risk children? Am I willing to bring a child into my home that may say goodbye? Do I want to put myself and my family through the fost-adopt process again?

The list goes on in my head. So many possible negatives. Of course there are many more positives, but today I’m just not thinking of them.

Luckily I’m not alone in these thoughts. In the fost-adoption.com forum appropriately titled,

Has anyone not done this a second time?

Jenny sums it up nicely:

Adoption is very stressful and it's very understandable to not want to do it again. I just like to leave myself open to possibilities for the future.

Well Said.

The forum is full of people who are thinking just like me today.

A nice support.

Tomorrow I'll go find the forum of people excited to adopt a second time.

Today, well,obviously I’m not quite ready yet.