There was a great set of questions posed on the adoption.com forums.

It seems that the placement of this child is not working out and the parents are going to ask for the child to be moved. This is a very difficult situation for everyone involved. The questions the poster asked are very valid and some that many parents have.

How do you tell the social worker?

The best option is to be honest. Minimizing a child’s issues or what makes them a bad fit for your home will only lead to more disrupted placements, either for you or the child. There are many reasons why a placement may need to be terminated. The child could be dangerous to you or other children in your home. The child may have mental health needs that are more extensive than can be handled in a home setting. The child may have extreme medical needs. A child that you currently have placement of may be affected by the addition of your new child.

All of these are very valid reasons for terminating a placement and need to be conveyed to the worker. Try to be factual and keep emotions to a minimum when you are talking to the worker.

Do you give a deadline for the move?

That depends on the issues involved with the child. If it is a safety issue, you are better off asking for a quick removal. You do not want to jeopardize anyone’s safety. If it is simply a bad fit, you might agree to keeping your child until a new home is found to avoid another transition and placement for the child. Be prepared for other children in the house to feel emotional. While the change in placement is in their best interest, they may see the change in placement as another loss in their lives and have some regression in behavior. How your other children will react may be a determining factor in how slowly or quickly the other child is moved.

Our next set of questions will deal with the child.




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