I’d forgotten what it is like to bring a new child into our home. Especially an out of control, five year old, spoiled, very very loud, boy.

Opps. Maybe I’m not supposed to say what I'm thinking. That I'm supposed to be more understanding - at least when I'm writing about it.

Obviously it’s not the childs fault that he only knows how to eat on the floor, or run around with food in his hand and mouth, spilling juice along the way.

It isn’t the child’s fault that he screams and cries when I say, no, that he can’t have candy.

Or that he storms back out of the house slamming the door when I remind him that he has to take his muddy shoes off before coming in.

It’s not his fault that he cries for mommy in the middle of the night. Or that I can hear him whimpering in the morning before he gets up.

I feel for him when he screams I hate you, I hate you, when I know all he wants is to go home.

Luckily K thinks this behavior is amusing. She’s tried to get away with copying a few behaviors, but a stern look from me is enough to reel her back in.


I’m doing the Love and Logic thing as I can remember how. Its been a few years since I’ve had to use it so forcefully, so correctly.

With K I can gently insert a few Love and Logic techniques and they seem to work or at least make me feel better. With Ricky, I have to start reading again at the beginning of the book and follow it step by step so I at least feel we’re making progress.

We are. Making progress that is. Last night I heard him explaining to K that you have to ask, when you want to be excused from the dinner table.

And this morning he said, Mimi, may I please, can I have please, can you get me some juice please?

Yesterday, one of the contractors working on our kitchen remarked to me that I have great kids. After watching and hearing me with them all day, he said to me: I notice your kids listen to you,I should drop my kids off here with you, they’d get into shape in a day or two.

Humph. I wish it was that easy.

Did he notice all the times Ricky didn't listen but I just let it go? That I choose my 'battles' carefully, or sometimes just walk away because I'm the one needing a time out?

Ricky is doing pretty well though, all things considered. All I want to do is have some sort of normalacy in the next few weeks. Then he gets to go home again.

I hope a bit of the loving discipline stays with him after he goes.

(To learn more about Ricky, here are most of the links:

part 1, part II, part III, part IV, Part V, Part VI
Part VII)