It’s December and everyone is knee deep in holiday shopping. This is a light hearted look at some gift giving ideas for families in our situation.

Have a child who doesn’t like to bathe? How about this bar of money soap from a fun website, What On Earth? There is money inside each bar of soap. Anywhere from $1 - $50. Maybe this could motivate your unclean child to use some soap.

Have a teen that you hope will be leaving home some day? I found a fun book titled “1001 Things Every Teen Should Know Before They Leave Home (Or Else They’ll Come Back)” by Harry H. Harrison Jr. This I a half humorous, half realistic book of things everyone should know. The topics run the gamut of job hunting, getting your first apartment, and spirituality. Sammy will be getting a copy for Christmas this year.

For those who have a large family and are sick of answering questions, get the “Proud Parent of Many. Yes, They’re All Mine” t-shirt. Stop the question before it’s even asked.

Need something to wear to your next IEP meeting? How about the shirt that says “Your Attitude Just Might Be My Biggest Barrier.” I guarantee you’ll get some attention.

Want to drown out the sound of a screaming child? How about wind chime earrings? Just shake your head from side to side and listen to something soothing. You can always buy ear plugs in bulk. Keep some in your purse, car, pocket or wherever necessary. Hand them out to other shoppers while your child is having a meltdown in the middle of the store.

Depending on your child, you could always gift them the police siren alarm clock. It has a cop-car light along with a siren and a voice announcing "This is the police! You have to the count of three to get out of bed, or we're coming in…" Of course around my house, it wouldn’t garner much attention. Everyone would think it’s just another day in the neighborhood.

Do you have a child that owes you restitution for some misconduct? Give a simple certificate that says “$10 off your debt.” I’m sure they’ll be more than thrilled.

Have a child with sticky fingers? Replace all clothing with sweats and boxers. It makes a little bit more difficult to hide things, but not impossible.

Need a gift for a clueless teacher? How about a customized calendar? Most office supply stores now let you create your own calendar with your own photos. Put in photos of your child with the lovely fake smile, the messy bedroom full of wrappers from hoarded food, the urine soaked bed, or other appropriate things that the teacher doesn’t believe.

Personally, I always wanted to have recordings of the “speeches” I had to give repeatedly. Things like “You can’t take it if it doesn’t belong to you” or “Where is my……?” Treat yourself to a tape recorder and record all those speeches and questions. You’ll save yourself time, a headache, and your voice. Reward yourself with chocolate and push the play button each time you need to use one of your pre-recorded statements.

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