You won’t be hearing from me as much in the next few weeks. Life is absolutely insane here and the thought of trying to write forty-three blogs a month is overwhelming, so I am toning it down a bit.

I will continue to keep you updated on our home study and adoption of Hannah. Right now we are in the hurry up and wait stage. It takes time for all the background checks and other various legal paperwork to come in, so we sit and wait for everything to happen. For us it’s not a big deal since we already have Hannah in our home, but for most waiting parents this is the most frustrating time of the process. It looks like not much is going on, but you know how waiting for the government is.

The fact that we have this “quiet time” in the process right now is a good thing since Hannah is having many reactions to her impending adoption and most of them are not good. I have not handled her behaviors as well as I could have since I am drained from many other things, as well having secondary PTSD from similar issues with Sammy over the years. This is not uncommon in parents who have been through the wringer with one child to have another child set off warning bells and trauma responses.

Wednesday I had an anxiety attack, which I have not had since Kory and Mackenzie left our home almost five years ago. A variety of things led to my meltdown. The last several weeks have been very emotionally difficult and draining. I had a “breakdown” and sat down and cried. I’m an adult and can identify my feelings and my triggers, so it’s easy to see how a child who can’t identify these things can be lead to a meltdown as well.

Learn from my mistakes and take some time to slow down and enjoy your life. Summer will be here and gone faster than we know it.

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