Adopting from Foster Care Blog - Single male foster parents

Foster Adoption Blog

03/20/08

Single male foster parents

Posted by : Kelly in Foster Adoption Blog at 07:22 am , 409 words, 461 views
Categories: Issues in Foster-Adopt Care

I have seen a couple of news articles saying that the need for male foster parents is on the rise and talking about the advantages of single male foster parents. I happen to agree.

I have a few friends that are single adoptive dads and they are great friends and even better dads. These men foster and adopt boys and especially teen boys, a segment of foster children that is greatly under served.

The last treatment foster home that Sammy was in had a great set up for him. There were three parents in the house, two of which were men. They were the primary caregivers. The female in this group was the “background” parent, and it worked well for the boys that they care for.

As boys reach their adolescent and older teen years they have things they need to discuss that they are not comfortable discussing with their mom or female caregiver. Sammy is an exception since we have had a very open relationship from the beginning, however at this point I would prefer he had these discussions with his dad.

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Boys need a strong male presence in their lives. I’m not knocking single moms at all, don’t get me wrong, I’m simply saying that there are certain things that we, as women, cannot relate to in regards to boys and development.

I abhor the implications that some people make that single men going into foster care or adoption because they are sexually interested in the boys. In the men I know, that couldn’t be further from the truth. These wonderful men wanted to be dads and truly wanted to help kids, and they are doing an amazing job. Some of them have taken on kids that I wouldn’t dream of bringing into my home, but they have and they have helped these boys.

I am not a physically active person. I don’t do sports, I force myself to exercise but do not enjoy it, and tossing the football has no appeal to me. Sammy’s foster dads did all these things with him. They took him running, rock climbing, snowboarding and various other things. This outlet was very important for him.

In my opinion, single dads are grossly underrepresented in foster and I know that there are many children, not just boys, who could benefit from their care.

Photo credit - My husband and Sammy at hubby's birthday last year

1 comment

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: koda [Member]

Ya know, I was wondering if anyone was gonna raise this issue. I'm a college guy going into my junior year at the moment, but one of my long term goals is to adopt at least two kids from africa. I really didn't want to even wait till I was 25, but it looks like I have to. I just want the day to come where I bring my first adoptee to Christmas Eve or Easter dinner at my family's house.
I did some research on some websites, and it seems like some of these countries are WAY behind the times (hardly news though). A lot of them have all these rules about the persons age, marital status, and gender. One rule in some countries that I find kinda stoning is that Single parents may not adopt children of the opposite sex. Furthermore, some countries go even further and say that single men may not adopt female children except in very "SPECIAL" circumstances. Okay, I can kinda understand why they would do that, but come on, we're into the 21st century, have NONE of these countries heard of POLITICAL CORRECTNESS? Eventually, I was really hoping to end up with one boy AND one girl. Of course, not all countries have this rule, and I'm not going to waste my time with the ones that do by trying to convince them how special I am... puh... but anyway, I'm glad u posted this, it brings hope to a person who cannot connect with women at all (except in the form of a regular friendship), but still has a calling to be a parent.
Peace be with you.

Permalink 08/04/08 @ 20:34