It is a beautiful day here in Wisconsin. Temperatures are in the mid 70s, the sheets are hanging on the wash line, the lawn got mowed over the weekend, etc. All those should put you in a good mood.

So why do I feel so terrible? I think part of it is seasonal, and part of it is my life. Over the weekend I got big slap in the face with reality about Sammy. This may be the best he ever gets, and it is incredibly frustrating. I am tired of living in chaos, and pouring so much of myself into a kid who doesn’t really seem to care.

There is also the issue of Mother’s Day coming up. Not really a big day for me. While I agree that mothers should be celebrated, that is not what happens in my house. The thought of spending an hour each way in the car to go see a kid who is going to be hateful to me is not the least bit appealing. I’d rather have a Brazilian Wax.

Hannah is an unknown. She’s a pretty well attached and happy kid, so it may be a good day with her. I have no idea.

Our church does a celebration of the Christian family, rather than mothers. This isn’t really comforting to me either since our family is not stable.

Then there is the aspect of seasonal allergies. My head pounds on a daily basis and makes me pretty miserable. It’s hard to work outside and do all the necessary things when being outside makes you “sick”.

These are things I face every year at this time, and it makes for a very hard time. I never caught the pattern until this year. Did I tell you I’m a slow learner? I’m not alone. There are many other parents out there who go through the same things. The two major topics on the support groups that I frequent are Mother’s Day, and what to do with the kids during the summer. Losing structure makes for some very out of control kids, along with transitions being difficult for them.

Then there is just daily life. We are trying to get our house sold, and it hasn’t been going well. We have a shared driveway and garage, which is a major down side. Now I am calling building contractors to get bids on getting a garage built and moving our driveway. I am also struggling with carpal tunnel syndrome and anticipating surgery since it is getting increasingly worse. And I’m in a big fight with the electric company since they sent me an astronomical bill because our meter wasn’t working.

This may be more than you ever wanted to know about me, but I know that many of you can relate to this. Yesterday I hosted a big pity party on the ATN list-serve, and many moms were happy to join in. Feel free to throw yourself a pity party as well.

Adoption.com forums
ATN List-serves