One of the foster moms on the adoption.com forum is transitioning her foster son to a placement with a biological family member.

Many people think that as a foster parent you don’t get attached to your foster children. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Foster parents love their children, no matter how long they are in their home. There are children that you may not have as strong of attachment to because of behavioral issues, but there are still emotions when a child leaves.

The mom that I referred to has written a poem for her foster son that I feel captures so many of the emotions and thoughts of a foster mom and she has given me permission to share it with you.

For Awhile Son

You were an extra special one, you were our "for awhile son".
Sent to us by God above, to cherish, care for, teach and love.
You came here like a newborn boy, couldn't roll, couldn't crawl, couldn't play with a toy.
With doctors and therapists you never fussed, you are stronger than most 'cause you've been through so much.
We remember the day that you took your first bath, your "I'm soooo big" look as you splashed and splashed.
Then there was the day that you sat on your own, there were lots of cheers and hoorays in our home.
Our hearts leapt the day that you said your first word, a sweet 'dada' for Daddy ***** was heard.
We will always remember your light belly laugh when you played tag with ***** back and forth, forth and back.
And how you smiled and your eyes shined whenever you were happy, which was most of the time.
Simply, we'll remember our sweet little one, in our hearts forever, our "for awhile" son.

If you are considering foster parenting, or taking on a legal risk child think about whether or not you can handle these emotions with the potential loss of a child. As a foster parent you will not keep every child that comes into your home. You will have to say goodbye. Sometimes you will be fine with the decision, and may even ask for the child’s removal. Other times your heart will break at the loss of a child you love completely. The only way to avoid this is to not take these children into your home at all.

Some foster parents are able to remain a part of their foster child’s life after leaving, and in other cases they never know what happens to the child once they leave. This mom is going to be able to remain in this little boy’s life and it will make his transition easier. He will not completely lose the mom he’s had for the past year.

This is a hard call to make. Some people say that it is better for the child to have a “clean break” and never see that person again. I disagree. As an adult, how would you feel if you were taken from someone you love and told you can never see that person again? Perhaps you have already had that happen in a relationship in your life. I don’t think there are many of us who would walk away without tears and without thoughts of that person. Why do we expect our children to do that?

No matter how or why a child leaves your home, there will be emotions. How you handle it is up to you, but our kids have no choice. Do what is best for them.



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