I’ve been writing this week about my self imposed rules for fost-adopting again.

There has been a bit of straining my brain as I’ve been writing some of my thoughts down on the keyboard.

Sometimes it is difficult trying to formulate what I really think about each issue and how to explain it as though I wasn’t a total monster.

In the end, I think it ok to have boundaries. I know mine have moved back and forth, some years very elastic, other years not, as I’ve learned what works, and where I am emotionally, financially, physically at a certain time in my life. Yes it is ok to have boundaries.

Ok, I'm ready to tackle my last rule:

4. I would rather have physical challenges than emotional (RAD etc) ones.

The competing agency called me today, and asked what type of children I was interested in, and after explaining a bit about my last two foster children, I knew why I got a bit burned out on emotional issues.

Our five year old boy was violent. I never saw the violence coming – it was seemingly random, sometimes directed toward me, or Hubby; maybe a caseworker, or a friend. Often it was over quickly, before real damage could be done, but at other times his explosive mood might last twenty or thirty minutes, and everyone would be exhausted, including him.

A lot of damage could be done in those thirty minutes. I’ve been head butted, kicked, and hair pulled. I’ve almost been stabbed. My property has been torn, thrown and trashed. A strangers car at the parking lot was kicked, scratched and dented while I tried to control his sister….

…aged three, from pulling down her pants and peeing and pooping in the same parking lot. In defiance. Because she knew she could. And there wasn’t a thing I could do about it in that moment……

.....to be continued.......em>