Having Ricky here has been a very tumultuous month. Harder than I expected. Hard on me, hard on my family. Ricky was very jealous of K and I didn’t anticipate that.

He was our foster son three years ago, and he remembered. He kept going into K's room and yelling My Room My Room. And of course it was. - Three years ago. The room has been redecorated, but he still remembered.

In the evenings, during quiet time, I’d hold K, to get her ready for bed first, and Rick would come up and pull on her leg. Get Down, My Mimi, My Mimi. He wanted the attention. All of it. He knew he’d get a turn after she went to sleep, but emotionally, he couldn’t allow her to get the time with me.

So, I’d hold him as well, but it was never enough, as soon as I’d put him down, he’d whine. His mom loves him, but he’s starved for loving attention. – or maybe he just missed her.

K took it all in stride. I spend enough time with her that she is pretty secure. And I'd sneak in a lot of extra hugs and holding when he was swinging, or in the bathtub or playing alone (a very rare moment).

A few times she’d ask, Is it Ricky’s turn to hold? - and I’d give her a quick hug and say yes honey and pick him up. She never really got jealous - Only he did.

More experienced mothers might have seen this coming.

Toys that have been in this house for years he recognized as his. The swing was his. The bed was his. Even though he’s been gone for three years. He sees it all as his. And he didn’t want to share.

Other times they’d play together. And as long as Ricky got to be the boss, life was good. But occasionally, K would stand up for herself. Maybe she didn’t want to play a certain game, or take her doll outside, and then he’d get angry and throw toys at her. I had to be with them every minute to make sure the anger wouldn’t get out of hand.

How oh how do you large families handle this stuff?

It would have been much easier if he acted more his age, but I think emotionally and developmentally they were at about the same level. And I was naive. I didn’t see it coming. Oh well. As Oprah says. When you know better you do better.

Boy, do I know better now.

Tomorrow I write about him going home..........