Ricky has gone home. This is the second time in three years I’ve cried and watched him leave. The first time he came to live with us we didn’t have other children. I could spend 100% of my time caring for him. Loving him. Playing with him. Holding him.

When he left three years ago I cried because I loved him dearly. We were hoping to adopt, but quickly knew that wasn’t going to work out. Everyone thought he’d be adoptable, but the first time I met mom I knew she’d fight tooth and nail to get him back. That is a good thing. That is what all moms should do. And she proved everyone wrong and got him back. She’s been able to keep him until she went to jail this last month for driving violations. Now she’s out and he’s back home. – Where ever that is.


Yes, Ricky’s life is with his mom – for better or worse.

As of on Sunday, they had nowhere to go on Monday when she was officially ‘free’, - out of jail and done with work release. More ‘trauma’ is on the way for them. Homelessness is not a crime. But it should be something we don’t have anymore in this country.

So, today I’m crying again. This time for him and for his future. He’s older now. More traumatized. I can see it in his eyes. I can feel it in his emotions and I certainly experienced it in his anger these last weeks. I hope his behaviors won’t get worse, but inside I fear the worse.

I have not offered to put them up as she has plenty of friends to stay with. I know she’ll have found a couch to crash on before she’s eaten breakfast.

It’s a complicated situation, one that I am sure many of you readers have also lived or understand. You want to help, but only to the point where you know it is truly a help, not a postponement of their life choices, or leeching from us emotionally and financially.

I feel I did help. But it wasn't enough.....


To be continued........