I haven't heard from my daughter's birth-mom in a while. She has a newborn daughter about nine or ten weeks old now, so I'm sure she is busy. She used to call me several times per week and we'd have visits about once per week or so. There was concern that she wouldn't be able to look after this new daughter because of her emotional difficulties and mental disabilities. But she seems to be doing ok. At least I think so. I haven't heard from her.

Last time I didn't hear from her for over three weeks I called her. "How is everything?" "Fine" she answered. "Ok - good, well then, I'll talk to you later."

I've always relied on her to call me. I've sort of figured the ball is in her court if she wants to see K. Yes I worry and wonder when I don't hear from her. How is her life going? Is she able to care for her daughter? Does she know she can call me if things get too wild for her?

My husband and I always said we wanted an open adoption, just so we and K didn't have to wonder. We wanted access to information, and in return, we'd stay open and offer visits a few times per year or something. So I should be happy, ecstatic even that our weekly visits are tapering off. That is what I hoped would happen after the new baby was born.

But I miss birth mom. I can see the resemblance between my daughter and her bio-mother. When they smile they look just alike. They both have this great infectious giggle and even cry the same. Sometimes I can see right into the future about fifteen years and see my teenage daughter in birth mom.

And I am happy about that. And I wonder how she is doing. Maybe I'll call. Just to check in. Yes, I think I'll reach out.