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“If women were convinced that a day off or an hour of solitude was a reasonable ambition, they would find a way of attaining it. As it is, they feel so unjustified in their demand that they rarely make the attempt.”
Does this quote by Anne Morrow Lindbergh sound familiar in your life? I know it certainly does in mine.
Sometimes I have several instances of the same topic come up in a short period of time so it’s something that I take notice of. This is one of those times.
Recently I saw a production of “Jesus Christ Superstar” when a few of my friends were performing in it. There was a particular scene that really resonated with me and I think many of you could relate to as well.
In the scene, Jesus has many followers and “spectators” pulling at him and demanding his time and wanting to be healed. He finally gets tired and yells “Heal yourselves!”
The scene was so well played that I could feel his exhaustion and relate to how much I give of myself. It’s something you do as a foster parent. You give so much of yourself. You run your kids to appointments, to birth family visits, meetings with social workers, sitting down and writing documentation, cleaning the house, preparing meals and so many other things. By the end of the day you are just plain exhausted and feel like you have nothing left to give to anyone else. I think that is much the way Jesus felt. I’m not comparing the work that we do with God, but I feel certain He understands how we feel.
However, we can learn a very important lesson from Jesus. He went off to be on his own and pray. How else could he have energy to give to everyone else?
When do we take the time for some solitude? Do we make it a priority as the Anne Morrow Lindbergh quote suggests? I know most of us don’t.
With summer comes having your kids in your house full time. You give even more of your time and attention, but your responsibilities do not change. If your kids are like mine, they go full blast all day long. For everyone’s sake, I have instituted an hour of “quiet time” every day. After lunch, the kids go to their rooms for an hour. They do not have to nap, but they do have to be quiet. This gives them a break from each other, but it also gives me a break from giving to them and being peppered with endless questions and requests.
There is nothing selfish about this. The kids need their down time, and I need a break as well. It makes all of us much more fun to be around when we get this break and rest time. In Hannah’s kindergarten class they had this time as part of the day, so it’s not anything new to her. If the kids need it during the school year, they certainly need it during the summer when they are more physically active. It is a gift to all of us. Don’t feel guilty about giving yourself this gift. It makes you a far better parent.
Hmmm. I don’t have this problem. i actually have a 2 hour quiet time every afternoon after lunch. For my 10,7,4,2,1 year old. The 3 youngest sleep and the older 2 have to sit on a couch or on their bed reading, drawing, looking at trading cards, whatever. My mom asked me what quiet Time is when she was looking at the Summer Schedule posted on the wall, and I said, oh, for 2 hours no one can talk to me (or one another) unless someone is on fire. It is one of the best things we have stuck to in our house. And the kids have never complained, which surprised me, but I think they need the down time from each other as much as I do!
Also, every week I go out for an evening/afternoon. Maybe I am a selfish mom, but I know what I need in order to be a healthy, functioning mama. Maybe i see a movie, go to the bookstore, meet with friends to scrapbook- the important thing is I know I have this time every week, so it is something I look forward to. I encourage other moms to take time for themselves, otherwise we wont be capable of giving our kids our best.
You are not a selfish mama at all. You are one smart cookie!! Good for you for putting your sanity first.