Once you have been matched with a child, you will probably have a million questions and you will never be able to remember all of them.

Do not be afraid to ask questions. It is the only way you will gain knowledge about your child, and the knowledge you gain will help make your child’s transition easier. If you were moving to a country where you didn’t know anyone or anything and there were small things that were done such as having a pitcher of water next to your bed, or a nightlight in the hall to help you find your way, how would you feel? You can do similar things to help your child transition, along with sticking with your child’s “routine.” This alone can comfort your child. Things like sticking to bed and bath times, where and when the child does home work, or even sleeping with the light on and the door cracked are easy to do, but can mean the world to your child.

The next several blogs will give you lists of questions to ask your child, your worker, and the foster parents. This is not a full list of all the questions you will have, but it is a start, and it might make you think of other questions. You may even want to give the lists to the foster parents to fill out so you have accurate information.

These lists of questions cover everything to biological family issues, physical health, school, emotional development, and virtually every other aspect of a child’s life. Some of the questions may seem rather silly, but they can be very important to the child. For example, when Kory first joined our home, he could go five days without a bowel movement to the point that he would make himself sick and be in great pain when he did go. Eventually, he started to go daily, but he would only go before his bath in the evening. If this information was not passed along to the family after us, he could have had to start all over again, and go through illness and pain.

General information about the child and birth family

• How long has child been with you?

• Why is this child not living with their biological parents?

• How old was the child when they came into care?

• Are there siblings?

• Biological family medical background?

• What is known about the birth parents?

• What has the child been told about their birth family?

• What was the last contact with them?

• When was the last time the child SAW members of the birth family?

• Any changes in behavior or attitude after contact?

• Any continued contact with friends, family members, etc? To what extent?

• Number of previous placements?

• Why did the child have to move?

• Have there been previous disruptions adoptions, or disrupted pre-adoptive placements? If so, why?

• Has the child shown ability to bond with care giver? Teacher? Other children in the home?

• Can we speak to current/previous care givers?

• Cultural background?

• Religious affiliation? Regular church or Sunday school attendance?

Watch for more lists of questions to come. This is just the beginning.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

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