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In January I wrote a blog about a disgusting story where a mother killed her four children. This happened in Washington D.C.
According to the report six workers were being fired over because of lack of follow through causing the girls’ death.
Now it seems that Washington D.C. social services has swung so far the other way and is being overly cautious and has removed three children from their home after the injury of an eight month old child.
This article gives the details of the new story.
According to the article, an eight month old girl was trying to push herself up and fell, hurting her head. There was no obvious bruising, but when the little girl started to vomit, her mother took her to the emergency room to have her checked out. I believe that’s what a responsible parent would do.
The incident happened over a holiday so there was no one available to run whatever tests were necessary to determine if the child had been abused, so social services came in and removed the other children from the home. HUH?
The test revealed there was no evidence of abuse and a judge ruled the same way, but the children still remained away from the parents, the parents were forced to move out of their home and the kids’ grandmother moved in to live with them.
The family spent $75,000 defending themselves and were still ordered into anger management classes, counseling, and unannounced visits from social workers. How can they do this if it was determined there was no abuse?
The reporter on this story points out different statements made by social services stating that this family was being treated differently because they were an upper middle class family, or as the director of the agency called them, a family of “privilege.” So now having financial resources means that you are likely to abuse your child?
The people responding to the story agree with the reporter. They feel that it is an “over correction” by social services for negligence in another case and that this family is being targeted because they are better off financially.
To make matters even worse, this happened over six months ago and the couple is still listed on the child abuse registry.
There is something wrong with our system if this is allowed to happen and continue with other families. We should not punish innocent families because social services fell down on the job someplace else.
The worst part of all of this is the effect it has had on one of the children. One of the little girls is now scared to be away from her mom and cries if her mom is out of her sight.
She was only away from her mother for a couple of weeks, but obviously, it has had a long term effect on her. If this doesn’t explain effect that foster care has on kids, I can’t think of anything that will.
There was a discussion about false reports in the forum several weeks ago. While we all agreed that reports must be made, I expressed concern that false reports could hurt the families severely. I was told VERY FIRMLY that an unfounded report was merely an “inconvenience” to a family compared to the possibility of a child being abused.
There is also a news article about a mother in England who lost three children to adoption after a false report and after it was proved false she is only getting two of them back. “Inconvenient?” I would call it outrageous and tragic.
Oh trust me, an abuse investigation is anything but inconvenient. I’ve been through one. It was hell on earth. Losing two children that I loved dearly (and still do) was the worst thing I have ever been through in my life.
I think on the forum most of us agreed with MamaS that it would be devastating for a family.
What we ALL disagreed on was her statement that people who are investigated and proven innocent would not be able to foster anymore, retain a job in childcare, or even work in a church nursery (her words). She said it would stay on their police record which many of us have found to be false. We didn’t like that her take on the topic could scare potential foster parents away from fostering just because it brings a high risk of false allegations.
Just to clarify.
Kim
Kelly~
Perhaps since you have personal experience in this area and HAVE adopted from the foster system AFTER false allegations, you could address this in a future blog. Below is a quote from MamaS’ comment on the fourm:
“Even if the investigation finds the allegations unfounded (they never use the word “innocent”) the charge will stay on their records. They will not be able to work in a licensed daycare. They will not be able to work in a church nursery – even as volunteers. They will not be able to work as volunteer scout leaders, YMCA leaders, and in many cases, cannot be substitute teachers or even tutor children. They may be denied work in the field of pediatrics. They may be denied the opportunity to adopt through FC. If they were guilty, this is as it should be. If they were innocent, this is like wearing a scarlet A for Abuser.”
We all disagreed with this because there are people like you, some of my fellow teachers, many daycare workers, etc. who have been falsely accused and still move on and adopt, retain their teaching position, continue to work the nursery and tutor, etc. I, for one, do not believe you are wearing a scarlet letter. You will never forget it but life will go on and usually without all the tragedy spoken of above.
Kim: Just to clarify, I used the words “in many cases” and “may be”. I NEVER meant to indicate it always happened, although I know from personal experience that it did happen some of the time, depending on the organization’s hiring rules. Thank you for explaining, I really did not understand what the flaming was all about!
MamaS~
I copy and pasted the exact quote above from the forum comment you made. I did not make any changes to it. I did not read any other comments you may have made later in the thread so they may have said “in many cases” or “may be” but this one did not contain those words. My reply wasn’t certainly not meant to flame anyone. HeeHee. I just thought of Kelly and two fellow teachers of mine who had been falsely accused but who went on to live down the allegations. I do agree with you though in that I don’t think they will ever be the same people. Much more cautious and alot less trusting. A sad side effect.
But I know that you and I both agree that if we truly suspect abuse it should be reported. Alot of false claims are made out of spite or from people seeking some type of revenge. I know Kelly’s family member accused her to hurt her and I find those types of reports unacceptable. I apologize turkey icon gal (that’s how I know it’s you right away heehee) if I sent any flames in your direction.
Kim
Kim: I know you copied and pasted exactly. LOOK at the quote. It contains exactly those words.
See lines 5-6-7
Yes, we totally agree that any suspected abuse MUST be reported. In fact, for 30 years I was a mandated reporter and I had to report any abuse reported to me even if I KNEW the report was made for spite or revenge. But my heart grieves for those families split apart and marriages tested by false allegations. Lies can do so much damage that cannot ever be fully repaired!
No, you were not the one who was flaming. I value your opinion and will try to express myself more clearly in the future.
Turkey Gal
MamaS~
So sorry. You are right. You did say those words. Totally my mistake. Boy, I must really be tired. No excuse though….I just have a 1 yr diagnosed with croup Friday and the steroids he is on has kept him up all night and our two hour nap has lasted 30 minutes this weekend. Sleep deprivation. Then, he was not swallowing today so we went back and he has strep. Somebody stop the madness!!
Kim