I’m one of those weird people who actually likes my in-laws. I actually knew my father-in-law before my husband. We had worked together for a while. When we lived in Dallas, my mother-in-law and I had season tickets to different theatre events.

A couple of years ago when things with Sammy really got bad and Sammy’s violence was increasing my mother-in-law told me that she loved Sammy but her first allegiance was to me.

That’s not to say that it’s always been rosy in our relationship. We have had some clashes over parenting Sammy, but at the end of the day, we have a good relationship.

So why am I telling you all of this? My mother-in-law had a conference in Milwaukee this weekend and rather than trying coordinate visits and travel back and forth, she booked a room for us at the hotel where she was staying. My husband, Hannah and I went down to see her. I’m not sure who was more excited, Hannah or Grandma.

This is a great switch for my in-laws. With Sammy they have never been able to be “normal” grandparents. Everything has always had to be monitored, regulated and approved first. When Sammy was younger, we put him on a plan to Dallas and he spent a week with Grandma and Grandpa. He had a great time and so did my in-laws, but it was their first glimpse into Sammy’s mental illness and behavioral issues since we lived several states apart.

This morning Grandma took Hannah out to breakfast and spent some time alone with her, allowing my husband and I to sleep in a little bit and enjoy some time alone, a rare treat. We then took Hannah to the water park in the hotel and she romped around in the water. The grownups talked and my mother-in-law commented on the difference between Hannah and Sammy at the same age. It is glaringly obvious to anyone who has been around our family.

Last night we were up in Grandma’s room and Hannah was putting on dances for us and doing what six year old girls do. Grandma’s roommate is an elementary school music teacher and deal with special needs children on a regular basis. I’m not sure how much she knew about our situation with Hannah, but at one point she commented about her being a “normal” six year old.

I am thrilled that my in-laws can now grandparent in a “normal” manner. It’s been a long time coming. Hannah and Sammy are their only grandchildren so they don’t have the opportunity with other grandkids. They love my kids and absolutely adore Hannah, and I must say the feeling is mutual. She was thrilled to spend time with Grandma and the fact that Grandma is a music teacher makes her even more wonderful in Hannah’s eyes.

Some of our parents never get the chance to have a regular relationship with our kids because of their disabilities. It is hard for them when the hopes and dreams they have about being grandparents doesn’t hold true, much like our dreams about parenting.

Photo credit - Hannah with Grandma and Grandpa when they visited us in December.