It’s the beginning of the year and most people are making resolutions. Personally, my resolutions are to get healthy, yes that means weight loss, and to get organized. I’ve made these a few years in a row, so you can tell I’m not the best at it.

Do you have New Year’s resolutions? Do your kids?

One of the things with our kids is that there are so many changes that they need to make in their lives that it can be overwhelming. When Sammy and I talked about this at one point, I told him to pick one thing that he really wanted to change and to work on that.

Imagine being in our kids’ spot. It’s about like making fifty resolutions. I have trouble sticking with just two of them. They are working on many things every day. For some of our kids they are BIG things. They seem natural to us and are part of our every day lives to not do these things.

It’s not hard for us to keep from stealing, lying, hoarding food or many other things that our kids do as survival techniques. If you’ve ever been on a diet, and I’ve been on many, you know how hard it is to stick to the things that you know are good for you and avoid the foods that you shouldn’t eat.

What if every day of your life was like that, times fifty? Not only do you have to diet, but you have to exercise all day every day. It’s sort of like being locked in a house with nothing but junk food and there isn’t a single healthy thing to eat. That’s what it feels like to our kids. No matter where they turn there is temptation.

I’m not saying this is functional or healthy thinking, but it is the way that their brain operates. Some of the kids feel it is too hard to make so many changes, so they won’t make any. As I have heard Nancy Spoolstra say so many times:

“The pain of no change must be greater than the pain of change.”

The kids have to have a reason to change. They are comfortable in the patterns they have developed. Change is far scarier than anything else they could imagine. Again, this is like dieting. If you go to the doctor and the tests say that you will die if you do not make any changes, what are you likely to do? Will you continue in your same patterns or will you make changes? Most of us would change things. Our kids have to have something that monumental to motivate them to change.

As you make your New Year’s resolutions, think of your kids and how hard it is for them. Make a resolution for yourself though. Resolve to take care of yourself and keep yourself emotionally filled up. You’ll be a much more effective parent.

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