Adopting from Foster Care Blog - Nature vs. Nurture

Foster Adoption Blog

07/28/06

Nature vs. Nurture - Who gets this child?

Posted by : Michelle Vandepas in Foster Adoption Blog at 07:02 am , 535 words, 167 views
Categories: Issues in Foster-Adopt Care, In the News!, Nature vs Nurture

"Sure, they fell in love with him, and I'm happy for that … (but) blood belongs with blood," said Dawn Kurtz of Grosse Ile. "I will lay my life on the line for him and so will Papa."

That is the grandmother of two year old Antonio talking. She has unsuccessfully fought for custody of her grandson, now being adopted by the foster parents.

In an unusual ruling, the high court has favored foster parents for adoption over birth family and sibling relationships. The grandparents have have full legal custody of two half siblings whose mother has since died of a drug overdose.

Ruling against birth family, and especially separating siblings, is an unusual turn of events .

In a contradiction of its own policies, the state Department of Human Services has sided with the foster parents, side-stepping both state and federal protocols that urge agencies to give preference to relatives, and to keep siblings together, when placing children in foster or adoptive homes.

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The attorney for the grandparents is expected to appeal:

"The established environment of a child this age is very important, but not so important that it should trump the long-term benefits that this child would otherwise gain from the opportunity to live with their blood half siblings and grandparents," Victor said.

"Courts historically have ruled that children, if at all possible, should remain within their family unit unless there is a strong showing that there is potential threat of harm," Victor said.

Apparently the court has decided there may be harm. The grandfather has past felony charges. Felony charges are not unusual to show up in some parents histories, but they do make it more difficult to adopt.

The DHS and the Simeones argued that Antonio should stay with the Simeones because he had lived with them nearly his entire life, according to court documents.

They also claim that the Kurtzes - the grandparents, made no effort to have contact with Antonio before his mom died -- and that a criminal background check of the Kurtzes revealed that Chris Kurtz - grandpa, had some brushes with the law.

Chris Kurtz was convicted of petty larceny when he was 18, carrying a concealed weapon in 1995, and fraudulent procurement of a narcotic drug in 1997. He was sentenced to fines and probation for the offenses.

His most serious charges came in 2004, when he pleaded guilty to several -- including a felony weapons charge, resisting arrest and driving while intoxicated -- for an incident on his motorcycle. He was sentenced to two years of probation and $710 in fines.

"I did it, and I regret it," Chris Kurtz said. Bill Johnson, director of field services for DHS, said that only sex offenders are forbidden from adopting foster children in the state.

There is never a cut and dried answer. I suppose we must continue to look at this case by case. We must trust the judges when they look at all the facts, and hopefully into the eyes of battling families, - But every one, every story, breaks my heart. It is the children who are being torn apart.

Full story here

Stay tuned to this blog:

Coming soon....An interesting perspective on this subject from another foster-adopt mom.

2 comments

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: KinshipMom [Member]

This story hits very close to home. The courts and DHHS need to recognize that many parents that have children removed from their care have a rift with their family members, and children are suffering because of it.

Most of these parents that have a long history of drug abuse have chosen to brake from their families. Often they choose to walk away because they are not interested in living responsible, clean lives and would prefer to blame their parents and other family members for their own short comings.

I fought two and a half years to get my great niece placed with me as a result of my niece stating she would rather have her child in foster care than living with family. Why does the court accept the recommendation of an individual with over 10 years of recorded drug abuse and many incarcerations? Only at the eleventh hour when her rights were threatened did she then decide it would be acceptable to have the child placed with me and accepted termination of her rights over a lengthily legal battle. She stated maybe I will get to see her if she is living with my Aunt, but I know I wont if she is adopted by the foster mom (again all about her not the child).

Also, another similarity, the foster mother wanted to adopt the child. I always told her right from the start that the family wanted the child back and had no intensions of giving her up. I traveled monthly the first year (1 hour by plane and then drove an average of 900 miles each trip) for weekend visits that I was granted. When finances started getting tight, I had to reduce my trips to every-other month. I spent a total of over $70,000 in legal fees and travel expenses.

I’m happy to say she is now living with me. It took a considerable amount of time for her to adjust as she had been given many promises by the foster mother that she could not deliver.

The differences between the Kurtzs and me – I made my intentions known immediately, I hired a lawyer right from the start, I never gave up, I have no criminal record, and $70,000 (an amount most families do not have readily available).

Until the courts recognize the sickness of addiction includes a very sick level of selfishness, families (Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and siblings) and the removed children will continue to be split up and all will suffer. The foster care system needs a complete overhaul as it is still a black market for children from families that cannot afford to fight to get them back!

Permalink 08/04/06 @ 09:25

Comment from: Michelle Vandepas [Member]

· http://fost-adopt.adoptionblogs.com/

Hi Kinship mom. Thanks for sharing your heart warming/breaking story. I wish the system was different. It needs a good blowing up and starting again. It is a shame your neice couldn't run fast toward your home and love when you were ready for her. - And I'm also sad for the foster parents - but very glad you made your intentions clear from the start. That makes a huge difference. As a foster mom I'm glad when I know exactly who is expecting what in the bio family. Thanks for commenting!

Permalink 08/04/06 @ 16:39

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