There is much debate over nature vs. nurture with our kids. Several of our bloggers have tackled this issue. Nancy has addressed it as have Cindy and Michelle, when she was writing this blog.


My classic perplexing story has to do with Sammy and his birthmom.

In Wisconsin, we have a website that allows you to view information on people. You can view all court activity, whether it is criminal, civil or traffic. It would be a wonderful tool in screening child care providers. I have used to keep track of Sammy’s birth parents. We don’t live far apart, so I like to know what’s going on and if there is a possibility of running into them.

At one point when Sammy was regularly blowing up and we had numerous court dates, I checked in with the website. Sammy and his birth mom were appearing before the same judge within 24 hours of each other. They had the same public defender, and were being housed in the same jail, just different divisions. This coincidence has occurred 2 or 3 times.

Which makes me wonder… all the “work” that I have put into Sammy, does it matter? Is he destined to follow in his mother’s footsteps? These repeat events do not bode well for our family. Is this what I have to look forward to in the future?

His mother’s crimes have been varied in nature, but consistent in the fact that she repeats the same crimes, and they have not changed since Sammy’s removal from her home. There are numerous counts of theft, forgery, drug and alcohol offenses, bail jumping, you name it. She also continues to require restraining orders against men. There is currently a warrant for her arrest for several counts of theft.

Sammy moved into his treatment foster home a few weeks ago. On April 1, I discovered that he is living 10 blocks from his birth mother. A little too close for comfort for me, and a little too much coincidence.

We have not faced drug or alcohol problems yet, which his mother was already battling by his age.

I know that my son is a more gentle young man, and is more attached that he used to be, but….

I read a saying not too long ago that went like this.

"Coincidence is what happens when God chooses to remain anonymous."

I want to be hopeful, but there is that little voice in the back of my head. Maybe I have seen my path with my son very clearly laid out for me.

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