Sadly, adoption is not something that is regularly and objectively addressed in schools. It is barely acknowledged as a way to build a family as is evidenced by some of the homework our kids receive.

Talk to your school administrators, teachers or principals about addressing classes regarding adoption and foster care. Kids should not be ostracized because their classmates find out that they are adopted or have been in foster care. It is not fair to our kids.

If you are given the chance to talk in a school setting, what should you address?

Children are placed for adoption out of love – Parents who voluntarily place their children for adoption do so because they love their child and want to give that child a better life. It is the most unselfish act a parent can do. Stress that there are many reasons that parents can not care for a child. There are issues of money, age, family size, lack of resources or support from other family, possible illness that could be either mental or physical. No one reason is better or more important than the other. The important thing is that the parents loved the child enough to want a better life for them.

Foster care does not mean a child is less important – Many kids don’t understand what foster care is really about. There is an unfair stigma attached to kids in foster care by their peers. Unfortunately, in 2007, children can understand the concept of divorce. I usually address a child being in foster care similar to a divorce. For various reasons, a foster child can not live with their biological parents and lives in a different home for now, much as children whose parents have divorced spend time living with two different parents. This child lives with foster parents, but has visits with their biological parents. They should be treated with the same respect. Stress to the children that the reasons the child is in foster care are private, just as the reasons that another child’s parents have divorced are private.

Children are adopted out of love – Parents who do foster care or adoption do it because they love and want children. Some parents can’t have biological children but still really wanted to be parents. They chose to help a child who needed a home. Other parents have already had biological children but know that there are children who need homes, and made the choice to add another child to their family through adoption. Whatever the reasons, they adopted because they love children. Adopted children are lucky because they were chose by their adoptive parents, and they have more than one family that loves them.

Taking some of the secrecy and stigma out of adoption makes it easier on the adopted child. This is a concept that kids can learn and understand at a young age. When I taught first grade Junior Achievement, one of the things that we discussed is that each family looks and is formed differently. The whole unit was on families. They understood the concepts and looked forward to me coming to their classroom.

You can even take in some books on adoption and read them to the classroom. If your budget allows, donate adoption books to the classrooms or to the school.

Who knows? One of the children that you address may someday become a foster or adoptive parent.

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