I’m feeling a bit rejected right now. K and I went to an art opening tonight and although that normally wouldn’t be much of a big deal, it was my first time back in that world after a few years absence. I used to be an artist. Back in my former life. Back before foster kids. Way before adopting.

I used to paint. My creations included mixed media dolls, masks and abstract paintings. Therefore I used to have a lot of supplies out in my home office studio, (now my writing area), paints, glue, papers, etc. My stuff. My creative, precious stuff.

Then along came foster kids. Have you ever tried having paints and brushes around when children come to stay? Children that may not have any respect for other people’s stuff? I packed it all away and resolved to write instead. It is not a decision I’ve regretted at all. I can still create and tap into that part of myself that needs to express, and I’ll get back to painting in another year or two. I’m happy. Or at least I thought I was, until the rejection.

Since I haven’t been painting, I’ve been a out of the art loop. It seems that I must have, well, alienated a few of my artist friends, without me even being aware I was doing such a thing.

Tonight I ran into people I haven’t seen in a long time. How are your foster children, they asked in hushed tones. But they didn’t really want to know. When I tried to give a tidbit of information, several are homeless, some are doing great living back with their families, it’s a mixed bag, and oh, did you know, I’ve adopted one of the foster children..

Yes they nodded. And walked away.

Huh?

Then, I ran into a couple that I used to know fairly well. We’d occasionally go to each others home for dinner, exchange emails and the like. They are a childless couple and when we started on our adoption journey, they sort of disappeared. I get it. You hang with people like yourself. Mommies hand out with other mommies and so forth. When I ran into this couple I gave the wife a big hug and was excited to catch up. This couple looked at me, muttered hi and turned away.

I remember last time I saw them. They just didn’t get the foster-adopt thing. They wondered what kind of other people’s problems we inherit. What were we getting into? I just don’t get it. Aren’t these children all of our concern? If foster children need homes, it should be our concern as a society, we should all care what happens to them. After all, they will grow up to be productive members of society - or not.

So this couple turned away from me. And that was that.

Luckily, I’ve gotten a new support system. My on-line adoption family. Other couples with children. People who’ve been foster parents. Other adoptive parents. Our daughter’s birth family. Friends who DO get it. We hang out together now. We speak the same language. They get what we did. And we didn’t have to explain it.

And I’m excited to get to know our new adoptionblogs.com fertility blogger. She'll start blogging on Monday. Turns out she’s an artist! Maybe there is room for both in my world. Art and adoption.