So, I went to my first adoption support meeting today. It is a group of foster adopt parents, only moms today) who have had adoptions finalized out the foster system.

The invitations have been coming every month for about a year, but I’ve been resisting going to a meeting. I haven’t really seen the point actually. K is doing very well. She’s only two, - and I know, I know, there is still plenty of time for any or all of those nasty adoption issues to crop up, - but today, she’s a happy well adjusted, attached two year old. Who needs a support group for that?

Then, I thought, well, maybe I”ll just go try it out. I’ve still got Ricky until Saturday, and they have free day care. It will give me a much needed two hour break. (Ok, I know I MUST be desperate to go to a support meeting for the day care opportunity). The kids can go play with a bunch of other kids in a safe environment and maybe I”ll meet some interesting people.

So I went. There were about twelve women, and as I expected, all with difficult circumstances, distrusted adoptions, RAD and extreme special needs. I felt quite out of place and just a bit guilty for having such a wonderful kid.

One by one, these women began to talk. They shared their life stories about adoption from the foster system. How they had dreams for their children at the start of adoption and how the dreams don’t die, but they sure do change. One woman’s dream was for her child to bond enough to tell someday Mom that she loves her. After ten years and the child aging out, this small dream was also starting to change. Mom was learning to let go of all expectations and just try to love as best she could - and that meant letting go in a big way.

To be continued................................