Foster adoption works differently from state to state and even from county to county. Where I live, all children under five are placed directly into foster-adopt homes. If parental rights are terminated, the child can be adopted by the foster family. I talked about this process in my post on Family to Family.


The downside to this procedure is the heartbreak for the foster-adopt family when a child goes home to birth family. I've also explored this in my series of blogs about Rick my foster child, who went home. Going through this process several times has caused me to be humble and thankful. It forces me to stay focused on the kids and not my own needs and wishes - even when I disagree with a judge.

One county over from us, I have a foster-mom friend. She's been fostering babies for over ten years now. She is a specialized foster home, - she only takes babies that will be moving into an adoptive home later. The longest she has had a foster baby before being moved to an adoptive home is eighteen months, but most placements with her are about three - four months.

She also speaks and writes about the heartbreak of having to give up the babies after they start to bond with her; however she and her husband don't want to adopt, - they are happy doing this specialized short-term foster care.

I'm not sure why this country chooses to work this way. To me it seems better for the baby if you place it with a foster-adopt family rather than move the baby from a foster home to another strange home where the child has to reconnect. My friend says they- caseworkers etc, take time to make sure that an appropriate family is found and a good match is made. But I'm sure there isn't a shortage of foster-adopt homes waiting for babies.

The more I learn about the foster-adopt system the more confused I get. Every state does it differently. Everyone has a different opinion as to what works and what doesn't.

I know that my daughter is the perfect match for us and for me, that is what counts. But I do care about the kids that have to move from family to family.

What if someone stormed into your home late one night, took you away from everything you knew and loved, and forced you to move into a new home with a new family? I'm sure that must be how it seems for some kids.

I wish there was a perfect solution.