Mother’s Day is a week from today. For most of us it will not be a good day. For those who don’t have children yet, it’s a reminder of that fact. For those of us with difficult children, it can be an awful day.

This will be my tenth Mother’s Day as Sammy’s mother and my second as Hannah’s mother. I was fortunate enough to have two Mother’s Days with Kory and one with Mackenzie. I have wonderful memories of the first one with Kory. He was so excited to have a mom and worked very hard to make the day great. He and Sammy each had $10 to spend on a gift for me. They pooled their money and went to a jewelry store that was going out of business and got me a locket. It is still my most prized piece of jewelry, next to my wedding ring.

While I was at my Lay Academy class this past weekend, I was talking to my roommate, who is a former foster mom and a dear friend. We have shared many stories of everything that we have been through with our kids. We talked about Mother’s Day and I said that I would not be going to see Sammy. To most people that would sound harsh. I explained about how he treats me on Mother’s Day, which is usually pretty horrible. My friend then said that she had the same experience with her foster daughters.

Mother’s Day is hard on our kids. It is a reminder that they are no longer with their birth parents, even if they know it is not in their best interest. I will never understand our kids’ desire to be with a birth parent who was so horrible to them, but that is the case with most kids. They want their birth family intact no matter how much we love them. We want to enjoy the day with our kids, but they are reminded that they are separated from their family of origin. It causes such conflicting emotions.

I’m not saying that it gives a child the right to be horrible to mom, just a little insight into why they act the way they do. We plan to go to the zoo with Hannah after church. If you don’t want to spend the day with your child, there are plenty of us will understand. Do what you can to make the day enjoyable for yourself.

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