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Five times between September and May I attend a bible study class two hours from my home. I attend with several other people from my church and people from neighboring churches.
The last two years I have shared a hotel room with the director of a homeless shelter for women and children. She has given me great insight into some things that her moms go through.
This past weekend we had an interesting discussion that made me realize the uphill battle that some of the moms are fighting, namely the ones who are working their plans and trying to get their kids back from foster care. These moms acknowledge and take responsibility for the poor choices they made that caused them to lose their children, but are working hard to get their kids back.
The discussion we had was on the economy and how it affects parents. I was talking about the recent ruling that we pay more child support for Sammy’s stay in his residential setting and how much it is hurting us financially.
My friend told me about her moms and the pinch they feel. These moms are faced with child support payments, court fees, payments for the Guardian Ad Litum and various other things. She said that one mom came “home” with a paycheck of less than $2 after paying all the fees. She had worked a 40 hour week as is expected from her in her case plan, and she has $2 to show for it.
How is this mom supposed to get an apartment, pay rent, pay for food, have transportation, and pay for child care and all the other things that go along with being a responsible parent with a whopping $2?
Many of the moms that enter the shelter do not have marketable skills that will allow them to get higher paying jobs. They are stuck at minimum wage or slightly higher if they’re lucky, but most of them are not working in offices with health insurance, vacation pay, and 401k plans.
The director is not a naïve optimist. She worked as a social worker for more than 10 years. She knows full well what the real world is like. She has also worked as a foster mom running a treatment foster home. She knows the complexities of the system from just about every angle. She knows when a mom wants to work her plan and get her kids back.
I know there are parents who don’t work their plan at all and have tons of excuses why they can’t get their kids back or complete any of the things the court has set for them. I’m talking about the moms who are really trying and who deserve to have their kids back but have too many obstacles in their way. Is it better to keep their kids from them and have them be adopted, or for us to find ways to preserve these families and help the moms succeed?
