Usually it is the mom, or wife, or woman of the house who starts the ball rolling to foster-adopt. Not always of course, but in reading blogs for the last year from people adopting, waiting to adopt and hoping to adopt, rarely do the Dads start the process.

Here’s how I see it happening at least in our house and a few others I know about:

The mom wants to adopt. The dad says:

"Yea whatever". Or "Are you kidding me?"

The mom starts the paperwork and the dad reluctantly follows suit and signs where appropriate.

The mom researches adoption, reads all the blogs, talks in forums and aks everyone she can about foster care and adoption.

The dad goes to work and comes home and works around the house. Or watches football, or even cooks, but ignores the adoption elephant in the room.

The mom asks questions, starts calling the homestudy supervisor, and cleans the house like crazy for weeks.

The dad might vacuum up the Cheerios he spilt while getting a nighttime snack.

The call comes in.

Mom panics, then the mom goes to pick up child from caseworker, makes lunch, gives bath, cries with child, feels joy, despair, hope and sadness in one afternoon.

Is emotionally drained by dinner.

Dad comes home from work and falls in love.

********


Tips for getting the man in your life on board:

Don't nag.

Give lots of love to Hubby.

Look at waiting child photos.

Make Macaroni and Cheese or another favorite dish while wispering about waiting children in your Hubby's ear.

Invite him to our Christmas Foster Agency party. Watch all the happy families.

And lastly:

Use guilt when necessary.

Hope this list helps.

More links to getting Daddy to adopt again:

Owlhavens beautiful and tear jerking post


My own emotional process